jarviscares

Frustrating?

2006-05-01T16:16:00.000-05:00

Peace of mind. Security. Happiness. Joy. Free from worry. Having all your needs met. Having extra to share. Freedom. Success. Self worth. Confidence. Positive lifestyles. Contentment.

What do all of these themes or words or ideas have in common in today's world? We attribute them all to money. Wealth. Possessions. Mammon.

What should they all have in common and be attributed to? God. Alone.

None of these things can come in a lasting way from money, possessions, life plans or long-term financial security. Sure, maybe for a moment. But then you will just set your mind once more on worry and money, trying to achieve these things by your own strength.

And it's frustrating. Incredibly frustrating. Why, you may ask? Because as much as I claim to know that all these things come from God alone in a lasting way, and as much as I claim to know that God will meet all my needs and then some if I just obey Him, and as much as I claim to know that true Prosperity in my life comes not from what I can do and how much I can make but how much I give of myself and my stuff to others, in turn allowing God to bless me, I just dont' really get it.

Maybe it's because I'm subconsiously (or blatantly) refusing to give up my comforts to follow Jesus. Maybe it's because everything I know from God regarding this gets shot up and chewed on then spit out by almost everyone I know, and everything I see on tv and hear on the radio. Maybe it's because God just doesn't make sense some times and I'm too stubborn to let Him remake me and allow me to see His ways, to the extent I am able. Maybe it's a stronghold in my life that needs to be broken. I don't know. I'm not sure if I really want to know, because then that means I have a responsibility to do something about it.

As soon as I know for sure what is causing this it can be got rid of, Jesus offers us that opportunity. And He'll even show us what the problem is that He will fix. But then that means I might not have comforts anymore. I might not have the respect of loved ones, friends and even those who don't know me. People might think I'm weird because I don't cling to money like everyone and their dog. People might call me crazy because I believe that by giving money away to those in need, even if I need it for something else, will in turn release a bigger blessing from God in my life than I would have thought possible.

People might call me stupid for believing that by trusting God alone (I mean really, you can't even see Him... right...) for prosperity in my life, the biblical definition of prosperity being that ALL of my needs are met, those around me are blessed, that I would have no worry, I would have peace and joy and a supernatural element in my life. And they would call me stupid (maybe in their heads this time) for not trusting a paycheck or a job that is thousands of miles from where my heart is.

Maybe I need to learn to trust God's opinion of myself, and start believing whole-heartedly what He says about Himself. Maybe then I'll find the strength He offers us that will enable me to step out in the confidence and obey Him, wherever it may take me. Whether it's to bible school, Steinbach, China, the Middle east or the west Coast of north America. And maybe I'll be able to trust that He'll take care of me better than a paycheck or a job ever could even begin to hope to.

The birds and the flowers are clothed and fed and nourished, more beautiful than all the splendor of Solomon. But apparently we, the beloved children of God and Brides of the bridegroom are only going to be taken care of if we have a steady (large) paycheck, retirement savings and a "proper" education.

I'm sorry but that sounds to me like a load of crap. Especially if I'm claiming to follow Jesus of Nazereth. And yet I still find myself believing this lie like a sucker, time and time and time again. I'll be praying then I'll find my mind wander and start calculating how much my paycheck will be this week, or how much I'll need for school, or to do this or that. It's ridiculous!

I repent and then the next day I'll get an idea of what I can do to overcome this, or where to go or what God wants me to do, but right away there is someone waiting with a shotgun to blow my ideas and dreams to bits because 'it's just not a good idea' if you don't have a billion dollars and a job whenever and wherever you need that doesn't actually exist. Oh, and this is only if I even let myself be so foolish as to actually consider this plan that God is trying to birth in me.

I long for nothing more than to be a humble and sold-out disciple of Jesus Christ, but I can't even take the first step to give up what I have and what the world is telling me I need, then pick up the my cross and follow. My cloak, bag and sandles are apparently much to important. The CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE THAT HAS PROMISED US PROSPERITY AND BLESSING AND THE MEETING OF ALL OF OUR NEEDS AND THOSE AROUND US IF ONLY WE TRUST AND FOLLOW HIM apparently isn't able to provide these few essentials for me, nevermind everything else that our demanding lives require these days.

Maybe I actually need to start moving, and not just following Him in my mind. Brilliant. Let's just hope this time I can find the strength to break through the chains that are holding me back.

God I'm trying to pray that I know that you will provide, but I find my prayer full of holes. PLEASE show me that you love me and care for me, and love to do these things... even though I know it oh so well. Then kick me in the pants until I come to the edge and finally jump, throwing EVERYTHING into your hands. My life, my money, my future. Help me to mean it and say "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain", not "For me to live takes money and a job and worry and stress, and for me to die without having lots of stuff is sure going to be a shame".

All of us need you Jesus. We need you to take over our lives. But you won't do it by force. We must step out and make the choice. and ignore all the other voices telling us not to, focussed alone on your face. I'm beginning to learn just how hard the life of a disciple really is. But I also hold to the promise that no matter how hard it gets, the joy that comes from you Lord is always enough to keep us wanting more.

Help me Jesus. I invite you in. Take over my life and everything with it. Maybe once I believe in your promise it can actually come true. I love you Jesus.

Feed my sheep.

2006-04-10T22:03:00.000-05:00

So the other night I was at a worship event in Steinbach, and I was struggling a lot with the whole idea of Loving God. How can we really love God... How do we practically love God with everything... We say with all sincerity that we love God but do we really mean it? How do we know that we mean it? All of those kind of philosophical-type questions that really send you for a loop when you begin to think about them in depth.

I kept asking God how I could know that I actually loved Him, if that makes sense... or more i suppose to know that He knows that I know that I love Him... and to feel that acceptance of my love to Him, and to be able to really recieve back from him the love that He is giving to us. There's a mouthful.

And... How to... well prove that love. And I know we don't have to work for our salvations, it's called grace... But I also know that if we accept that grace then continue to live as we did, something is seriously wrong.

And so God let me wrestle with that a bit. Then He pointed me to a story from the bible. It's a very lovely story really, and I wish to recount it to you.

As a bit of a background, Jesus and the disciples have just spent the last 3 years together, and the disciples have pretty much seen enough to know beyond doubt that Jesus was God, and the life that He called them (us) to as believers. Then Jesus leaves, dies, and rises from the dead. He's appeared to the disciples a few times previously... and this is where we catch up with the start of the story.

Peter, in all His genius and experience, decides that he's going to go fishing... and the others follow him. Now I don't know if it's because He was sick of waiting for Jesus or was just hungry, but in any case I don't think he was supposed to be fishing... He was trying to meet his own needs instead of letting Jesus do that for Him. (Highlighted by the fact that they catch nothing).

Then Jesus rocks up. And asks if they caught any breakfast (though I'm pretty sure He knew full well that they didn't...). Then He tells them (professional fishermen, by the way...) to throw the net on the other side of the boat. Wow. Why didn't they think of that. The fish were obviously favoring the other side of the boat. But they did it. And caught more than they could handle.

It's about this time that they realize it is Jesus standing on the shore. So Peter (once again, a genius) puts all his clothes back on then dives into the water to swim to Jesus. The others take a boat. (though to Peter's credit, I like to think he just loved Jesus that much that nothing would get in his way).

So they get to shore, Peter fully clothed and soaked through, and the rest pulling in the fish on a boat. Jesus is chillin with some breakfast over the fire. He passes it out, referring to the fish a few times... then He starts to chat with Peter. And He says "Peter, do you love me more than these?" Now I like the point that Donald Miller brings up here... Jesus is asking Peter if he loves Him more than the fish. Why else would John (a man who wastes few words) mention the fish a half dozen times? And so the question to Peter is not just whether he loves Jesus, but whether he loves Jesus more than his career, his life, his provision, his job security and self.

And of course, as we always do, he says yes, of course He loves Jesus. So Jesus says "Tend [or feed] my lambs". Okaaaay.
Then Jesus asks again... "Do you love me"? "Yes". "Then shepard my sheep." okay...
Then once more. "Do you love me?""YES! (slightly agitated that Jesus would even hint at the fact that He doesn't buy it)". "Then tend (or feed) my sheep." What is it about the sheep!?

Then Jesus says something beautiful. Essentially it is this: when you were young and immature you did what you pleased... but when you get old you will not do anything for yourself, but go where you may not wish to. (alluding to Peter's death on the cross, but applicable, in my opinion, to wherever God may be leading us). Then He says simply... "Follow me".

Then Peter (the genius), after hearing all this... says "Hey but what about him? (pointing to John)." Wow. Can you miss the point any further? (oh wait, we do all the time)

And Jesus, gently and patiently, says that it doesn't matter where Jesus is taking John or what he is doing, but says "You-follow me."

But something must have clicked in Peter, finally. Because we read about how he helped start the church, and was faithful until death on a cross, doing all sorts of wonders and following Jesus to the end.

I think that this is a glimpse at what it means to love. Not just to say we love God then not do anything about it. That, apparently, is meaningless. Jesus tells Peter (who followed Him closely and personally for 3 years, mind you... more than we can say for ourselves a lot of the time) that "if you really love me, feed my sheep". Translation? DO SOMETHING! Love people. Feed them. Shepard them. Disciple them. Help them. Introduce them to Jesus. but most importantly, follow Jesus.

Loving God, loving Jesus... it's not something we can just confess. It is something we must live out in everything we do to make it authentic. It's not enough to call ourselves committed, or worship or say we Love Him. The most important commandment of all is to Love God with all of our hearts, minds, souls and strength. or Passion, prayer, intelligence and energy. Feed the lambs, the homeless, the lost and the hurting. Then shepard them as they grow into sheep. Then feed them again once they are sheep, never losing sight of God. And give everything to the cause. Follow Jesus.

And at that point you will be able to look back and say "I loved Jesus. And I love Jesus."

But you won't have to say it. Because you won't have to convince Him, or yourself, or anyone else that you do... Because you will just know.

So the question becomes, for me just as well as any of you... who are we trying to convince?

Christianity

2006-04-04T17:04:00.000-05:00

I think we missed the point. The point of what? Well, life, really. Christianity. Jesus.

I'm pretty sure we've managed to turn Christianity into the exact thing that Jesus turned on its head to found Christianity. Judaism in Jesus' day had very little, if any, focus on God, save for its founding principals. The religious leaders were more worried about keeping the religion alive by their own ideas and practices than anything else. They were buying in to the world, not to God.

The world was telling them, as it is telling us, that to succeed in this life a person must ultimately be liked and verified by the people around them. Donald Miller calls this a product of the fall; we search in vain for anything and everything that can give us a sense of worth or validity in this life, validation that was meant to come from God alone. In the garden of Eden, man and God were in perfect unity. Man looked to nothing except for God for validation and worth because he just knew that only God's opinion mattered. After Adam and Eve disobeyed God however, they became separated from God and all that came with that.

And I don't believe that we can really fully understand how that would have affected them. Envision in your mind as I try to paint a picture of how this might have looked:

The Trinity, uncreated and everlasting; living in perfect harmony with one another, serving each other and loving each other, unconditionally. They CANNOT, because of their nature, be any other way. Out of their goodness, they choose to share this life with a creation, to pour out this love and acceptance and glory into a creation, in order that it may feel as they do. A feeling, I have began to realize, that we really cannot even fathom.

Imagine what it must feel like to be unconditionally and unceasingly loved, glorified, accepted, approved and wanted. It's hard, isn't it? Try this; think back to the last time somebody loved you or glorified you or even just accepted something you said or did. Think how great that felt, to be approved by that person, if only for a few minutes. Now imagine how it would feel for that person to be constantly reminding you of that for five minutes straight. It would feel pretty good, wouldn't it?

Now think again how that might feel, as it did in the garden, to have that from God without ever ceasing? Constant, unwavering, unconditional approval and validation of worth from a perfect God. It was enough to make Adam and Eve comfortable and unashamed of their nakedness. It was enough to make Adam and Eve whole enough that God would be walking in the garden with them in the cool of the night. Keep in mind that if there was but a microscopic blemish in either of them, God could not be in their presence. It is in His nature. But this approval from God was enough to keep them from desiring anything but God. They needed nothing else.

But then Satan tricked them and in spite of having all they ever needed, they wanted more. Now in and of itself, that is a lie. There was no more that they could have, God already gave them everything. In reality, by choosing to disobey God, they chose less; much less.

Now continuing our image we are creating, try to see how this choice to disobey really affected Adam and Eve. Sure, we know that they were kicked out of the garden and mankind was plunged into the world of sin. But think how that would have felt. Genesis tells us that right after they disobey, they realize they are naked and are ashamed. The very second they step down from allowing God to be everything they need, they begin to seek affirmation from anything and everything that can give it to them, to fill the void that God alone once filled. They were worried what the other would think of them, so they covered their nakedness to gain affirmation. They hid from God when He came walking toward them, because they were afraid. The day before they had nothing to fear; God affirmed them and loved them because they were pure. But now that they had disobeyed, they no longer were able to receive that from God. God saw the blemish of disobedience in their lives and was not able to get through that barrier. So man had to start seeking affirmation from others that were just as broken. And I cannot pretend to imagine how horrible that must have felt.

The Trinity, as God has shown me lately, is completely relational. Every aspect of how they treat each other is founded in perfect and pure relationship. And man, when first created, was formed into this relationship. The Trinity's identity exists within itself and man's identity was to come from the Godhead alone. And it did. And that was the sole purpose of life; to share in that relationship with God. He pours out glory, love, affirmation and life into us and we, in turn, affirm Him. Not because He needed affirmation from us to continue existing, but because He chose to want a relationship with us.

But from the very beginning of man, we decided to use our free choice to choose something less. We chose something far beneath what God was offering to us and devoted our lives to obtaining this elusive thing, whatever it looks like in our lives, for the sole purpose of gaining back the affirmation that God offered us free in the first place. But it's an endless cycle, because only God CAN give us the affirmation we seek.

Throughout the whole old testament, we see God patiently trying to bring humanity back into relationship with Himself. In fact we often don't see this at all; instead we see a God giving us a list of rules and steps and do's and do-not's. We see Him killing people that are not seemingly good enough for Him, and blessing those who kiss up to Him. We see Him leading Israel by a leash, punishing them when they do something wrong.

But in reality He is just longing for relationship with them again, longing to smash the barriers that are keeping us from our ultimate purpose; to share a mutually affirming relationship with God. The rules and steps are there to try to overcome the barrier, though we keep screwing up because we're looking elsewhere to be loved and it pulls us down. Because He is just, God must kill those who are so lost that they will never come to Him and will take others down with them. And because He longs for us He blesses those who earnestly long for Him.

God stocks the Old Testament full of poetry expressing His longings for us to return to Him from our adulterating ways; to be united as a bridegroom to His bride. And He also includes the writings of those who are longing for Him in the same way, longing to leave our inherent adultery and come back to Him... and the frustrations that come with this journey. It's like He was trying to get some sort of point across, preparing us for the time when it will actually become possible to cross that barrier and be re-united with Him, gaining everything we need in this life directly from Him, no longer needing to look to other broken people for the fulfillment He offers.

And then Jesus enters the scene. Well, enters the scene as a human. He's been there all along in the Trinity. I think that is something we often overlook too, by the way. I do, anyway. I think “Oh, well Jesus is God's son and He sent Him to be sacrificed for us, so God can be in communion with us again.” But John, describing Jesus, says “The Word was first, the Word present to God, God present to the Word. The Word was God, in readiness for God from day one. Everything was created through him; nothing, not one thing, came into being without him.”
Jesus was with God in the Trinity before we were created. He was one of the three who were perfectly living in community with the other two. He was there when we were created and in fact it was through Him that we were created. He was and is God and we lost relationship with Him as well, not just the Father. It was God Himself that came to this earth, not just some angelic son of His. And what did He do when He came? Well, He lived. Then died. Then rose from the dead. Sounds simple enough. But let's try to understand what He actually did.
Well, first of all He left the physical presence of the Trinity. He shared in this perfect community for eternity, before time began. I can't even put to words how hard it must have been to leave this to come live as a human for 33 years. Now sure, 33 years is hardly an atom compared to eternity. But to leave the presence of the Trinity, even for that amount of time, must have been something that left Him feeling horribly empty. No wonder He would frequently go off into the desert alone to spend time with them and be re-filled. So why did He do it, if it was so horrible?
Because He wanted to share that with us. Remember, the reason He created us in the first place? He gave up the perfect community of the Trinity that we, humans, might have a second shot at sharing it with them, unhindered, once again. He lived with humans, the very humans that rejected Him right after He created them, so that they would have a second chance to accept Him. He came, lived a life free of sin, died because we still rejected Him, then rose from the dead to go back to be with the Father in the Trinity. But it worked.

Finally, we could once again enter unhindered into a relationship with God, if we would so choose. Finally, we no longer had to try to get back to God on our own strength. The rules and laws from the Old Testament, Jesus fulfills them through His strength if we allow Him to, making us unblemished once again before God.

Christianity, from this understanding, is essentially nothing more than choosing to pursue the relationship that God offered us from the very beginning. But this time, our choice to choose something less than what He offers will only affect ourselves; everybody on earth has the choice to choose to enter into perfect community with the Trinity now.

And yet, after all this, we still choose to ignore God.

We decide that we're better off trying to find affirmation in others than in God. We focus our whole lives on collecting stuff and putting others down and pushing our own agendas so we can feel accepted by others, but it's a false and fleeting acceptance. They only accept us because it will make others like them and when we're no longer of use we get pushed away. Empty, once again.

We treat Christianity like this as well, but instead of looking to God for the affirmation we look to others within Christianity and to the institution of church and ultimately away from God. We read books that tell us we are good Christians, hop churches until we find a pastor or priest that tells us what we want to hear, surround ourselves with people that build us up so we feel good. We read the bible and make lists of things that are relatively easy to accomplish, lists that we say will get us to heaven and make us Christians.

Once again, we have lost our focus... on life, Christianity and ultimately Jesus. Instead of sharing Jesus with those who don't know Him, we tell them that if they believe what we say they will become like us and we will affirm them. If you're Canadian or American you're a Christian, and we affirm you for that. If you say you believe the points on this tract, we will consider you a Christian and give you the acceptance you seek. If you are immersed in water, eat bread and wine and seem really spiritual when you worship, we will accept you and call you one of us.
And all the while Jesus is standing in the background, saying that if we love Him, He will accept us. If we accept that all we will ever need is Him, we will be fulfilled. If we enter into the relationship that He is calling us back to all throughout the bible, we will never long for affirmation from others again, we will have all we need from God. He did this on earth and people followed. Though it was the people whom nobody else would love or accept that began to follow Him. Those that others accepted were too lost in the lie to notice what Jesus was offering... they thought they already had it.

And we do this today, still. If only I had that car, or that shirt, or those shoes. I would be accepted, life would have meaning. If that girl would marry me, or if I do enough drugs they will accept me... if I seem to be cool enough, life will be fulfilling.

Jesus is weeping because those who don't know Him are believing the lie and living in pain instead of coming to Him and living with joy. But nobody will tell them that they can. Instead, we (by we I mean Christians) believe the lie as well and feed it, turning people away from Jesus. We tell ourselves that our efforts are pure, that our motives are focused on love.

I think we've missed the point. I think we're missing the point. And I think we're missing Jesus. And I know that we'll continue to miss the point unless we somehow find Jesus again in this world, in the real way that He has offered Himself to us.

Think back to all the people you've ever come into contact with. Now of those people, how many have you honestly introduced to Jesus? Not to Christianity, not to lists or rules or their sin. But to Jesus? Now to compare, how many have you turned away from Jesus? Either by letting them down by trying to use Christianity to affirm them yourself, or by putting them down so others will affirm you... or by using them to affirm yourself or even by trying to persuade them to follow the steps to become a Christian, subconsciously offering affirmation from yourself and others in the church.

And I ask myself, because the answer is an overwhelming landslide in the wrong direction, why? Well, I personally think it's because we've forgotten how to love. And more importantly, how to be loved. I'm pretty sure at the beginning, Adam and Eve didn't have much problem with these things. There was nothing to not get; God loved them with everything He had and was, and they loved Him back to the same capacity. But after the fall, things changed. God still loved man with everything... but man was no longer able to receive it unhindered. This lack of receiving love therefore affected their capacity to love, which spiraled downwards until Jesus came to earth. He came to teach us how to love and more importantly how to once again be loved.
He didn't expect His disciples to get it all at once. He was incredibly patient. But He loved them. And eventually they learned this, though it took them years. Throughout Jesus' life in the gospels, we see a picture of Jesus loving everyone unconditionally, while His disciples were still arguing three years later about who was the greatest among them. Still looking for affirmation in others. But slowly, towards the end of the gospels and into the rest of the new testament, we see them finally start to get it. Jesus loved them, and it was enough. They learned how to be loved.

Once this happened, it didn't take much to learn to love others. The kingdom of God was thriving because it was based on introducing others to the love the believers shared with God. But we've somehow forgotten this over the years.

Mark 12:29-31 “Jesus said, "The first in importance is, "Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.' And here is the second: "Love others as well as you love yourself.' There is no other commandment that ranks with these."

We've stopped loving God with all of our passion and prayer and intelligence and energy. We say we love God, but we don't even know what love means anymore. We cannot love ourselves until we know that God loves us. And we cannot love others until we love ourselves. There is no other commandment that ranks with these, Jesus says. But we don't even know how to do these anymore.

So what's the answer? What steps do we have to follow to get this back? Well, there aren't any. At least no set list, anyway. That's the wonderful thing about Christianity that we've lost over the past hundred years, or more. It's about a personal relationship with Jesus. He can show us exactly how to re-learn love and how to receive His love. We just have to ask Him, meaning it when we ask it.

Jesus longs to bring us back to Himself, believe me; He will jump at the opportunity if we allow Him to. There is however one thing I know for sure and Shawn McDonald says it simply but powerfully: It's time to confess that I need a little more Jesus inside of me... and Don't you see, if you do not learn love, then you will be completely nothing. You could be absolutely amazing here on earth... but you would be nothing.

Learn love. Ask Jesus to teach you. Then do whatever it takes to get a little more of Him inside of you... and show others the Jesus that you have fallen in love with.

Catholic Churchs and renovations.

2006-04-02T13:15:00.000-05:00

Hi so I've discovered that I'm a slacker and I apologize... though I have spent pretty much every waking moment since thursday the 23rd either at work or with SOAR Heartland... so forgive me. Today I will post a speech I gave this morning at a Catholic Church (Yup God's pretty cool, gettin me around), hopefully you get some inspiration. I have the next two weeks off (Boston Pizza's renovating), and about 7 new books to read... so expect some more frequent posts and rants! enjoy. It's pretty long.

Hello there. For those of you who don't know me, which is most of you, my name is Adam Jarvis. I've recently returned from Australia with the organization “Youth With A Mission”. Youth With A Mission, or YWAM for short, is an international, inter-denominational mission organization, founded in 1960.

Taken from their website, “Youth With A Mission (YWAM) is an international movement of Christians from many denominations dedicated to presenting Jesus personally to this generation, to mobilizing as many as possible to help in this task, and to the training and equipping of believers for their part in fulfilling the Great Commission. As citizens of God's kingdom, we are called to love, worship, and obey our Lord, to love and serve His Body, the Church, and to present the whole gospel for the whole person throughout the whole world.” Simply put, their mandate is to know God and make Him known.

The prerequisite for pursuing the vast majority of ministry opportunities within YWAM is what is called a “Discipleship Training School”, or a DTS for short, and this is what I was doing in Australia.
Taken once more from YWAM's website, “Discipleship Training Schools (DTS) aim to prepare messengers of the gospel, helping students to know God in depth. The goal is to form Christian character and establish Biblical relationships while developing a daily walk with God. This intensive Christian training course begins with an 11 or 12 week classroom phase followed by a typically 12 week outreach.
DTS is designed to encourage students to develop in personal character, to cultivate a living relationship with God, and to identify their unique individual gifts and callings in God. Cross-cultural exposure and global awareness are special emphasis throughout these courses, preparing the students to reach current and future generations and answer the call to "Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations" Matthew 28:19.”

My DTS was based in Brisbane and we spent the first four and a half months hearing lectures and doing ministry all along the east coast of Australia, then the last 6 weeks in Vanuatu (a country in the pacific islands, about 2 hours off the coast, near Fiji). The lecture topics covered a wide variety in order create a firm Christian base in the participant, preparing them for outreach and on, wherever God calls them in their lives. Topics included things such as the fear of the Lord, the Lordship of Jesus in our lives, the character and nature of God, the Holy Spirit, Spiritual warfare, Worship, bible study and more.

However I feel I am getting slightly ahead of myself here. Father Mark asked me if I would share a bit about my adventure, how I've grown and what God has taught me. And I will do that. I just feel that it is equally important to hear the first part of the story, the part where God began to get a hold of me.

As a child, I grew up in the catholic church. I was baptized as an infant, took my first communion in grade two, took catechism until grade 6 and went to church pretty much every week. But looking back there is one thing I recognize more clearly than ever, which is that God really meant nothing to me. Christianity was routine and religion, nothing more, and this apathy is something that affects the church all over.

When I was in junior high we attended Eastview church, a community church with Mennonite heritage. It was around this time that I claim my entry into Christianity; when I accepted Jesus as my savior. But I still admit that I really had no idea what this meant for me. Sure, I prayed before bed, I still went to church and youth activities every week and would piously admit that I was a Christian to anyone who asked. But I didn't get it. And even worse than not getting it, I didn't know there was anything more to get. And this continued for several years.

Come high school, I would estimate around the end of grade 10, I finally began to understand that there was an awful lot that I was not getting about this Christianity thing. And that bothered me. I saw a respected member of my church bluntly turn away a man that needed help at the doors of our church without even really trying to help. I saw so much within Christianity that really made me start to ask some serious questions. Not so much questions of doubt or unbelief that these things often lead to, but more questions of whether there should be a whole lot more to this thing we call Christianity. Whether going to church and youth group and saying a quick prayer before bed was really enough.

Frankly, I was bored. Christianity had become a nice hobby, an add-on to life. It was tame, easy, safe and quite dull. Every now and again God would give me a boost and I would see someone or experience something that was real and right on board with God. But I would then drop back down to my surroundings, frustrated with what people tried to pass off as Christianity, but not having the slightest clue what to do about it. But slowly, God started to open my eyes and lead me on a journey to start understanding some of the questions I was asking.

In both grades eleven and twelve, God led me to attend a short term inner city mission trip called “SOAR Heartland”, with Youth Mission International, right here in Winnipeg. It was this program that God used to really start revealing Himself to me. He showed me people much like myself, that were sick of “just getting by” with Christianity, if you can even call what they practice Christianity. God showed me just enough of Himself to get me thirsty for all that I could get from Him. He taught me to worship Him, authentically, and to worship Him alone. He taught me a bit about what it means to love, both to love Him and others, by taking me to a children's ministry in the inner city for a week. And most importantly, He taught me that there is indeed a whole lot more to this thing we call Christianity, if we so choose to desire after it.

The second year I was attending the SOAR program, something was read to us that really got my attention. It was a prophetic vision from God, found written on the wall of a prayer room. The vision focuses a lot on the emerging generation in the church, those about 30-35 years or younger. The reading is essentially a poetic description of the life of a passionate disciple of God, the life that Jesus calls us to; and a practical application. It is to be read as God's vision and hope for our generation, that we would be available and willing to go where He leads us. I want to read this piece to you now. It goes like this:

“So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this…
The vision? The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus. The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons. They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldn't even notice. They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence. They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision? The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation. It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause. A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters. Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the underground. The whisper of history in the making. Foundations shaking. Revolutionaries dreaming once again. Mystery is scheming in whispers. Conspiracy is breathing… This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed. Young people who beat their bodies into submission. Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them? Can hormones hold them back? Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays like a dying man, with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter! Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mold them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive. Inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.) Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centers.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.”

I still get goosebumps every time I read that. It puts into words, better than I could ever hope, the longings of my heart, everything Christianity should be. Integrity. Purity. Adventure. Life. Jesus. It outlines just the kind of life we are to strive for. Not being caught up in the world. We are to be in the world, Jesus tells us, but not of it. Materialism, peer pressure, the opinions of others, the rights we so often cling to, money and stability... These things will not matter and won't be able to pull us down. The vision is to live for Jesus in every action we do, to not leave Him out of anything. To long after purity, to its full extent. Being integral, but not just enough to get by. We will be the soldiers of God, but not against people; against the powers of evil that rule this world... and we would lay down our lives for the cause. Nothing but God will be able to mold us and from nobody but God will we get our identity.

Our lives will not be our own, but the property of God. It would no longer be we that live, but Christ that lives in us. Purity, integrity, disciplining our minds and bodies to not lust after things of the flesh and the world, being completely free in God but giving that up out of love to serve God, and through that to serve others. These are the answers. This is the longing of God, of creation, that we would be completely dependent on and devoted to God.

But I didn't know how to get there. I wanted these things, but they eluded my grasp. And I prayed. Oh did I pray, like never before. I prayed through Isaiah 6:1-8 more times than I can remember. God, in all His majesty, sitting on a throne before me, and I am lying before Him in misery as I know I am not worthy. “Woe is me! I am ruined! I am a man of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the Lord!” And I picture God cleansing me and asking who will go for Him to His people. And I prayed, I yelled, I longed that it would come to pass, that I would go. I would go for Him. I wanted this life He was offering. But I didn't know how to get it. But I wanted it. So I asked God to show me how to get there.

And before I knew it, I found myself on a plane over the Pacific ocean, heading to Australia. Whatever this YWAM was, I was determined to use it to get to God in a new way... and let Him get to me. And He rocked me. And I loved it.

Before I could really understand what God was doing, I found myself not only learning so much about God and myself, but right in the middle of ministering to others.

But aside from lectures, God used a lot of our experiences to teach me just as much, if not more than a lecture ever could. It was in King George Square that I learned what evangelism can look like and how God can do amazing things through our obedience. It was a large public area in front of the parliament building and right near a large outdoor mall, in the middle of Brisbane's downtown. We would frequent that area most Fridays for evangelism, as there were a lot of people and it was public property. We would worship God, right in the square. A guitar or two and a hand drum and about 30 young adults singing and dancing in worship to God. We would begin to fan out and find people to talk to. I had some great conversations with a goth kid who was homeless. His name was Brendon. He's the kind of kid that if you were walking by Him on the street you would not make eye contact, and move to the other side of the sidewalk. His hair was black and he had black makeup and nail polish. He had fishnets on His arms and a shirt with Marilyn Manson on it. But God told me to talk with Him.

And you know what? It turns out that he didn't try to kill me, or cuss me out, or eat me or kidnap me or cast a spell on me, as we seem to fear that these people we don't understand may do. No, actually he just wanted to talk, as I found out. And by talking to him, I showed him a love that he hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe not ever. I cared. And through that, I showed Him that God cared. Whenever we went back to the square I would look for him and when he was there, we talked. I think God did something in his life, because I was willing to take the time to care.

We brought a sign that said “free prophecy”. That turned some heads. And changed some hearts. Some girls came up to see if we were crazy or something, but we told them what God wanted them to hear. One of them had a sister that she was not really close with anymore, in fact they were barely talking, and she needed to make things right. And I told her that, because God told me that. That freaked them out. (it was true, by the way). Some other people from our team received prophetic words that God thought them to be beautiful, and that they didn't need to worry about what others told them about their looks. God liked them just how they were. It touched them in a way that only God can do. We told them Jesus loved them and they left. But they left changed, one step closer to God, because we decided that we would go.

One night there was a group of ruffians in the square and they were quite adamant that we shut up and stop singing and they told us so with language not quite suitable for a church. I think they threw some plastic bottles towards us. By the end of the night we were sitting and talking with them all; God got their attention.

The place? Gold Coast; Australia's tourist trap on the ocean. The opportunity? Officially, it was called “Schoolies”. To the participants, it was an excuse for a week of partying, drinking, drugs and sex. Much the same idea as spring break for college students, Schoolies is a week of celebration the week after graduation for grade 12 students. I'm not sure how many exactly, but with a modest estimate of 30 000 grade 12 students coming for a week to live in hotels and party on the ocean, it's pretty much the perfect place for a bunch of Christians to take up residence.

They call themselves the “Red Frog Crew”, or officially they are known as Hotel Chaplaincy. The role is to help schoolies (the students) have a safe and fun time, showing the love of God every step of the way. We joined up with this organization to serve the students and show them God's love. We made them pancakes in their hotel rooms in the morning. We went through the hotels door to door collecting their garbage for them and cleaning up their rooms. We responded to phone calls to the hot line and went to chat with, console, minister to and just hang out with the kids.

Most were dumbfounded that we would give up our week to come and serve them. To make them pancakes in the morning, then do their dishes and clean their rooms. And have more fun doing it then they were having while partying. We showed them God's awesome love by serving them and they got the message. It led to amazing conversations.

After seeing us be authentic for Jesus, hearing our testimonies, hearing what God had to say to them personally and feeling His love for maybe the first time in their lives, one of the rooms we went to all gave their lives to Jesus. One of the guys cried when he heard God tell him that He loved him and loved him just how he was. We saw them again later in the week and they were happier, not partying nearly as much and we could see a visible change in them. This is Jesus. This is the more that I knew existed somewhere.

In another room of all guys we went to help clean up some broken glass. We ended up talking for about an hour and serving them by cleaning up. They were interested, we had them hooked. But not on us. On Jesus. As far as I know they didn't accept Jesus. But God brought them closer than they ever have been.

In all, I think about 100 students gave their lives to Jesus that week. Because we chose to give up our week to serve them and love them, when everyone else wanted to either take advantage of them or judge them.

And then we got to Vanuatu. Now Vanuatu is a very interesting country, spiritually speaking. Missionaries have been there for over a hundred years and for the most part pretty much any village you go to, at least on the main islands, have a church and a pastor. But the place is spiritually dead. Sure there are pockets of believers that are passionate and real, but the majority have fallen into habit, tradition and apathetic religiosity. They are Christians because that's what you do. And so we got the opportunity to teach, disciple and help the people rediscover the love of God that was in the church at the beginning.

We made ourselves available to God and He used us in extraordinary ways. We saw the fire in the eyes of the pastors re-ignite. We helped a pastor with a vision of discipleship accomplish more in 6 weeks then he could have done in a year. We were with a group of local youth who were our guides and translators and we were able to disciple them over the weeks, teaching them to make their faith something real and to live it out, and we saw amazing changes in them that God was doing.

But there was one thing that hit me most in Vanuatu. The idea I had in my head before we went was that these people were unreached, because they were natives of Vanuatu. We heard witchcraft was practiced on the islands (which it is), but I assumed that that meant that God wasn't there. We were going to bring God to Vanuatu. We would be the heroes. We would bring the torch, pass it on then carry on.

However, when we got there I began to realize that God was already there, already doing His thing. And as I realized this, I was more able to partner with him to accomplish what He wanted, instead of trying to push our own agenda. It made a difference, because it was God's plan. God showed me a whole new level of life with Him, one where we surrender our lives to Him and let him take us where he wants us to be.

In the end, we didn't see as much “fruit” as I would have secretly hoped... No stories of legs growing back on amputees, or casting out demons or raising people from the dead. Only a handful of salvations. But that didn't matter any more. Because I realized that it's not about the stories we'll be able to tell, and what “we” did. It's about what God has been doing, and what He is doing and what he will continue to do once we're long gone. And the key is partnering with Him whenever we can, trusting Him to let us know what needs to be done, even if it seems menial or unrewarding. Because often it will be. But the results will be amazing, if we only trust God and his timing.

Those were only three of the many ministry experiences God exposed me to with YWAM. I could probably spend all day recalling things we did. But at the end of the day, no matter how fun it was, or how many stories I have to tell, the real measure is how my relationship with God has changed, or matured. And to me, that's the most exciting story of all. In this chapter, God showed me the next step in my pursuit. He showed me the next step to get to the place I desire to be with God. The place described by the vision.

And the next step for me focuses on one thing, which God hammered home, time and time and time and… time again throughout the past six months. Whether it was one of the many lecture topics, ranging from spiritual warfare, to establishing lordship of Christ in your life, to learning about the father heart of God, to worship and prayer, or the books I was reading or the conversations and revelations I was having; God brought them all screaming towards a collision at the same place. It’s a central theme throughout the bible and all powerful men and women of God; from Abraham to David to Daniel to Jesus, Paul and Peter, and everyone in between. The saints of old, Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, Martin Luther and Benny Hin. They all got the point. But we, in our busy, self-centered materialistic, “perfect” lives seem to have missed the point. Big time.

Jesus refers to it as one of the two most important commandments of all and the other most important can’t happen without it. Jesus modeled it perfectly and all of our attempts at pleasing and working for God are futile without it.

It takes a lifetime to begin to achieve and no man save Jesus ever got it completely right. Nor will we ever. It really points to a way of life, a way of living, not just something we must do. Jesus says there are few who will find this way of life to its full potential. But I’ve tasted it. And my life is from here on devoted to achieving it.
Well what is it!? Is what you’re probably thinking… Well, I suppose Jesus, as He is so good at doing, defines it simply and accurately. In Mark 12:30 He says, after being questioned which commandment is the greatest of all, to love the Lord with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. Or as it says in the Message, love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.
In a word, Intimacy. God desires nothing more than intimacy with His church, with us, with the world. Without a deep, personal, raw, uncensored, unmatched intensely intimate friendship with God my father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, my life, and I dare to say all of our lives, are nominal at best, un-fulfilling and full of hurt. Sure, we can pretend our lives are great without it. We can even pretend to have it. It’s not too difficult when nobody else really knows what it looks like. I was great at pretending. But boy did God send me hurling straight at a wall as soon as I gave Him the chance on DTS. He showed me how full of holes I was, how hypocritical and judgmental I was. And He showed me what true intimacy means, what a relationship with God is meant to look like.

To me it means reading my bible, daily. And not just one verse then patting myself on my pious little back. But however much it takes, and meditating on it. It means getting up at 5 am to spend an hour or 2 with God, simply because you want to, begging Him not to hold back what He has for you today. It means daily coming before God flat on your face, asking Him to show you what He wants you to change in your life, and meaning it. Intimacy with God means realizing that God speaks to each and every one of us, and choosing to shut up for a few minutes a day to listen. It means doing what He says once you’ve listened.
Intimacy is what takes Christianity and separates it from religion. It’s what takes Christianity from being a set of rules, beliefs, values and practices and makes it a lifestyle worth giving up everything for. Which, by the way, is a requirement.

It’s the foundation of Christianity, but in the past hundred years, we in all our wisdom ripped it out and set it up top where it doesn’t belong, as a nice added extra to Christianity, if we would so choose; much like you would while playing Jenga. But all over the world our generation is beginning to rebuild the foundation, from the ground up. It’s evident all through the church in our emerging generation, if you take the time to look.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I read the bible and see verses that command us to be perfect as our father in Heaven is perfect… perfect… and that tell us that Jesus didn’t come to change the laws of the old testament but to finally empower us to fulfill them… and then take them to a new level in which the motives behind our motives become pure to the core of our beings… Oswald Chambers’ words ring truer than ever; “If Jesus is a teacher only, then all He can do is tantalize us by erecting a standard we cannot come anywhere near. But if by being born again from above we know Him first as savior, we know that he did not come to teach us only; He came to make us what he teaches us we should be.” Basically, it’s only possible to become how Jesus teaches us to be if we let HIM make US into what we need to become, which can only happen through intimacy.
I read stories about Jesus healing people, raising them from the dead, casting out demons and setting them free. Then I read that JESUS SAID we will do these things, and then do greater things than these, right after explaining how he does them. How does he do them? By being in the Father. And having the father in Him. Intimacy. Very deep intimacy (mark 14). And then we read stories about the early church and how they would constantly be doing miracles as they walked along the street. Signs. Wonders. Intimate relationship? I think so. Like Paul said, “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ”. Yeah. Intimacy.

And then I read a small but significant warning from Jesus. In matt 7:13 – 14 He says “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

Or as it’s put so well in the Message version, “Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life--to God!-is vigorous and requires total attention.”

The next step in my walk is engaging in intimacy with God. I have a passion to engage with God on new and exciting levels, experiencing all that He has to offer me. There is a song by an artist named Shawn McDonald called “Have You Ever?” that captures this longing beautifully, and I wish to play it for you.

**PLAY SONG** (I would suggest to you reading to try to find it somewhere.)

Have you ever wanted to be someone? To reach your dreams? Have you ever wanted this life we call Christianity to be more than it seems? I have tasted of a love so wide that it stops all of my time. I have tasted of a love so deep... that it blows my mind. What you're looking for is my sweet sweet Jesus... and intimacy with Him.
Allow Him to blow your mind. Give Him the chance. Just ask. I did, and God answered. Has my thirst for something more, something deeper and something real been quenched? Hardly. God has began to answer my question, but as I continue living this life devoted to Him, I am quite positive that I'll come to realize a depth to my question that can never be fully realized; only momentarily satisfied by an insatiable love for Jesus Christ. After a brief pause of unthinkable joy reflecting on all that Jesus did for me by His own choice and desire, I will be driven by love to keep seeking more and more of God.

I want to close with a quote by Oswald Chambers that really highlights my current understanding of the relationship we share with Jesus and the life He calls us to as His disciples:

“We always say we do not know what Jesus Christ means when we know perfectly well he means something which is a blunt impossibility unless he can remake us and make it possible. Jesus brings us with terrific force straight up against the impossible, and until we get to the place of despair we will never receive from him the grace that enables us to do the impossible and manifest his spirit."

Jesus is calling us into complete and unhindered intimacy with Himself. But we choose to believe that He doesn't really mean that. Maybe we're only supposed to love Him when we feel like it, or when it works for us. But no. Jesus wants intimacy with us 100% of the time. Jesus did nothing other than what he saw His father doing. The only way we can come near this is to accept that it is impossible. Then let Jesus remake us through grace and enable us to do the impossible.

I choose to live the life He calls us to, and do whatever it takes to get there. My prayer is that you will too. Thank you.

To Love the Lord Your God...

2006-03-13T15:18:00.000-06:00

... With all your heart, soul, mind and strength. This is the first commandment.

Simple enough, right?

Well... wrong. For me, anyway. I'm coming to realize that I really don't think that we as Christians (or non christians for that matter) have any way of fathoming how deep this commandment really goes. Essentially, Jesus is telling us that if there is one thing for us to focus on, one commandment to spend our lives on achieving fully, one thing that should consume our attention... It is to Love God with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength.

But let's just look at that for a minute. Now what, do you suppose, would it look like practically to love God with just all of our hearts, ignoring the other three for now? Well, first of all, our whole hearts would have to be fully devoted to loving God, at all times. No room in our hearts for loving anything or anyone else, whatsoever - including ourselves (Luke 14:26?). If our heart's attention was 100% on God, loving him with ALL our heart... we would continually be awestruck by the fact that the more we love Him, the more we find to love about Him. The deeper we go, the deeper we can see... but we'll never see the end.

"But... but..." you say... "If we're Christians, aren't we supposed to love people too? and you're saying there's to be no room left in our hearts to love other people with our love... what's up?" Well, I suppose that's the next point... We'll get to that. But think about it. It's not that simple to love God this much, is it? Impossible? No. But is it impossible without dedication, absolute surrender and allowing Jesus to make it so? I would venture an educated guess and say yes.

Now back to loving others... If we are really loving God with all of our hearts, that's the best place to be... because we are in a place to be filled by God. All love flowing out of us to others will be the love of God... with nothing from ourselves to taint that pure love. In fact, the other commandment Jesus includes with the first is that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves... but it's pretty clear throughout the bible that self-love is sin, and separates us from God... So is Jesus saying that we aren't supposed to love our neighbors?

Well the way I see it, quite the opposite. If we follow the order of commandments He gave us, before we even begin to try to love our neighbors, we should be loving God with all of our hearts. If one was to reach this point, there would be no room left of their own love to love either their neighbor, or themselves. But they will know the love of God towards themselves. And it is once we take on the view of God toward the world as our own view that we will realize we must love our neighbors as we know love ourselves... as God loves us.

Jesus commands us to feed His sheep, if we really love Him. In fact, He says this three times to Peter... "Peter, do you love me?" after Peter says yes, Jesus simply says "then feed (or tend) my sheep." But He gives us nothing to feed His sheep with. Except ourselves, and Himself. As disciples and believers that have moved from the position of "newborns", we must begin to feed His lambs, the other new-borns. He continues by saying we must then as we grow tend His sheep, then feed them... If we love Him. We must allow - and encourage - those who have not learned to feed directly from God as we have to drain us and feed off of us, off of our overflow from God. And Jesus' only prerequisite to this command... was asking if we love Him. If we love God fully, everything flowing from us should be of God... and therefor safe for new believers to feed on.

Last night I was at the Vineyard (a church in the area) for an intercession/worship night, and I felt like I couldn't quite connect with God as I have recently, so I did some self-checking and realized that I was (am) suffering from the sin of self-love. I realized that I don't in fact love God anywhere near the capacity He calls us to. And most importantly, I realized that this needs to change.

The question now begs... How? Just HOW do we come to love God with ALL of our heart, ALL of our soul, ALL of our mind and ALL of our strength? Just HOW do we embrace total surrender to Jesus? And HOW do we make sure we have the right motives for doing so? Simply out of a ridiculous love for Jesus?

I don't know.

I have some ideas. But I'm not going to pretend they are answers. To be honest, I'm pretty sure there isn't a set list of things to do, any certain procedure to follow. There isn't a 10 step program to loving God, and Dr. Phil certainly doesn't have the answers. But I'm also pretty sure that the answers are out there, if we were to care enough to look for them... though they'll be different for all of us.

And this is where the tough part sets in. This is where we need to make the choice... to dig in and persevere, no matter the cost or the pain... or to give up and take the easy road.

I venture to say that none of us will ever perfect these things. Jesus was the only man that ever has or will. Some may come close, but they will be few. And when you meet these few there will be something in their lives that you crave more than anything you have imagined. Though I'm also quite confident to say that these few will not feel like they are they are even in this place. In fact, I'm led to believe that the closer you come to purity, the more you realize that you will never obtain it... but to those pure in heart and chasing after God for the right reasons... this fact will do nothing but drive them to pursue it even more. Those doing it simply to gain for themselves will just get discouraged and get off the horse along the way.

Jesus said "Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it." (Matt 7:13-14). Few indeed. But the great thing is, EVERY ONE OF US has the capacity to find it, if we so choose.

And there's that problem again. We must choose. And that, for me, is what it comes down to. No matter how close or far we feel from God, no matter how strong or weak our relationship is, no matter what is in our way... If we simply choose, day in and day out to persevere and give all we can to God, we WILL find the narrow road, and stay on it. It won't be easy. People will mock you, leave you, scorn you. You will miss out on many opportunities that the world will call you crazy for leaving behind. You'll have to give up all your rights, advantages and preferences. You'll have to give up your love for everything ... EVERYTHING... except for God, and deal with whatever consequences may arise from that. And we'll need to do these things most when we feel least like it. And there are two things to remember. If we are doing these things for any hint of a selfish motive, or for any reason other than the love we have for Jesus, it will be made void. But if we do it with His help, for His sake and that of the Gospel, the fulfillment will be like no other.

Mark 10:28 - 31: "Peter began to say to Him, "Behold, we have left everything and followed You." Jesus said, "Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel's sake, but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last, first."

And that is our promise, from Jesus Himself. But notice, part of the promise is persecutions. Though the last will be first... in the Kingdom of God.

This is the life we chose. And must choose. Daily.

If you are anywhere near this place, as I am today, do this one thing for me. God asked me to do this one morning in a little village in Vanuatu and I hope to never forget it again... I asked Him what He had for me this morning, what He wanted from me... and He simply told me, "gaze into My eyes." I was a bit weirded out, but figured hey, why not. I closed my eyes, and pictured myself gazing into the eyes of God, as limited as my understanding of that would look like. I'm not too sure if I can describe my experience from this point on. All I know is that I experienced the slightest taste of God's love for me, and for the world, simply by allowing myself to gaze upon the shallowest surface of His. And it nearly brought me to tears. In fact I think one or two may have slipped out, but I can't be certain, and so I say nearly. In any case, I caught a glimpse of what is in store, a glimpse of what it means to love God with everything... and to see how He loves us... and what could drive people to this life of a disciple simply over the love of Jesus.

And so I ask you this. After you finish reading this (it's almost done, I promise), take a few minutes and find somewhere quiet. Ask that God would reveal Himself to you, close your eyes and picture yourself Gazing at God. Longingly. Lovingly. Into His eyes. Let His love cover you and seep into you. Then make a choice.

I don't know about you, but I choose to persevere. I want to develop a love for Jesus Christ so pure that I'm brought to tears in worship when I turn my eyes on Him. I want to dance with Jesus out of pure joy, to learn what it means to love others and myself with the love of God, and see the results... all to the glory of Jesus and the gospel. I want to myself become nothing... that I no longer live but Christ lives in me. This is the life I choose, and will choose, as it is a choice daily. It won't happen over night. It won't happen in a year. It will take your whole life to even begin to get anywhere near. But it will be so incredibly worth it, if for nothing else (and I believe there should be no other reason) than to simply love on Jesus and let the abundance of His love flow from you.

"God I choose to persevere. I choose to walk to narrow road. I choose life as it is meant to be. I don't know where the road is going, or where it will take me. I don't pretend to know how to stay on the road. All I know is that if I earnestly desire it, You will let me know in time exactly what it takes. And You will walk with me, hand in hand, the duration of the journey. And I don't care what it takes. I AM YOURS. In Jesus' Name."

Um Die.

2006-03-11T15:09:00.000-06:00

Wellll it's been some time here apparently... sorry to you who check back regularly.

But to quote David Crowder (once again)... Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

God seems to like this theme these days in my life, and either it's a recurring theme in the life of any devoted disciple... or I'm just not getting it. (Or in my case, maybe a bit of both). Inspiration comes today largely from C.S. Lewis, and of course God. I just picked up a copy of C.S. Lewis' book "The Great Divorce" the other day. And proceeded to read it in 2 days (it was a pretty short book). But it definately brought new light to David Crowder's opening remarks on their new CD.

Everybody wants to go to heaven. But nobody wants to die.

The book, simply explained, is about a guy who has a dream. In that dream, he goes on a bit of a tour of Heaven and Hell. The view of heaven and hell put forth in the book is a very interesting one (one of my favorites so far :) ), though as Lewis says himself, "The second thing is this. I beg readers to remember that this is a fantasy. It has of course- or I intended it to have - a moral. But the transmortal conditions are solely an imaginative supposal: they are not even a guess or a speculation at what may actually await us. The last thing I wish is to arouse factual curiosity about the details of the after-world."

And rightly so. The point of this book was (is) much beyond arousing a curiosity of details... rather, to point out the incredible need of the complete divorce of the things of heaven, and the things of hell (and the earth can fit in nicely with hell).

The ultimate point he brings out time and again throughout the book is this, taken from the back of the book : "If we insist on keeping Hell (or even earth) we shall not see Heaven: if we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell."

Profound.

Yet... how often do we accept this reality? And that it what I wish to engage in today... why this is so and what are we to do about it?

Now for the sake of not just repeating the book, I'm going to tell you to go buy it and read it yourself, and steer on a bit of a different path, though I may come back to the book a little, as it's fresh in my mind and God used it to give me some revelation.

Now the dilemma is this. We (and by we in this instance I mean all who embrace Christianity to the slightest extent... from the most devoted Discliple of Christ to the guy who's pretty sure he's going to heaven because "there's gotta be a God out there, and hey, I lived a pretty good life")... We all seem to want the things God has to offer us (eternal life in heaven, peace, joy, etc. etc.), but we don't seem to realize fully what it takes to actually get them.

We say things in full seriousness like this... "I feel distant from God these days, I don't understand it. Oh, are you going to that huge party on friday night? I'm gonna get sooo hammered!"

We tell God we want to know Him, that we want to give our all to Him when we're on our knees in prayer. Then an hour later we are blatently disobeying Him to do something that is "Just a little harmless fun".

We let God know perfectly well that we want everything God has to offer us. But what we don't often realize is that at the exact same time we are letting God know perfectly well that we aren't willing to give up the things in the way of getting them. And the moment we make this choice, consciously or not, is the moment we tell God that we really don't want all the things He has to offer. We clearly let Him know that we'd rather have the fleshly pleasures that will decieve us and rip us apart in the end... then to have a perfectly clear path to God.

Now personally, I believe that a lot of our problems with this comes from things that we have been taught growing up, that are just simply a part of us that seems so natural. Know this: I am not saying this to shift blame from ourselves, but simply so we can address this issue and become free from it. These are just a few of the things that I have learned growing up that are off the top of my head.

Christianity is safe. Christianity causes pain and problems to vanish. Come to God with your problems, he can solve them; but if you can handle it yourself, you probably should. You can be a Christian and still do all the things you used to do. It's called 'reaching out'. Jesus didn't really MEAN all those things He said about how we're supposed to live... He was just... erm... well... we don't talk about that. Because Christianity is easy, and a nice addition to life. Yeah that problem you have? You don't really need to fully get rid of it, as long as it's not controlling you right now... it'll just be more pain than it's worth. Wait until it's worse, when you actually need to do something about it.

Well some of those may be familiar. Maybe some not. In any case, they're all a croc of crap.

Following Jesus, embracing the kingdom of heaven... Well simply put here's a summary from the best of my understanding.

First off, it means DEATH, to absolutely everything that is not fully in line with God. Ouch is right. it IS going to hurt. it ISN'T going to be comfortable, or safe as we would like safety to look (keep in mind God is watching out for you). you WON'T want to let go of things (even though you must... they are only hindering you). You must give up every single right you claim to have. Your life must be fully surrendered to God (It is no longer I that lives, but Christ that lives in me). No more building ourselves up.

This is the life we chose.

Granted, this won't all be instant. But it is our goal. And every time we make a choice that contradicts this (to be noticed, to cling to a right, to do something for ourselves, to hold on to something that is in the way, to want comfort instead of cleansing pain...) we take a step (or leap) away from that goal.

"But... but" you stammer..."Why would a God who loves us make us go through pain and suffering?" Well let's see what Jesus had to say about that.

Matthew 5:29 - 30: "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."

So... if I'm correct in my thinking, our striving for purity should be ridiculously sought after, to the point that if our eye causes us to sin we are to pluck it out and throw it away. Now I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure Jesus isn't just trying to pull a fast one on us. The whole rest of the sermon on the mount is pretty serious stuff, why shouldn't this be?

I'm pretty sure removing something like lust or selfishness or comfort or pride or laziness from your life, no matter how much it hurts, wouldn't hurt quite so much as cutting off your hand... or digging out your eyeball. Yet that's the extent Jesus calls us to for purity. Quite literally, killing whatever doesn't belong.

It is better to look maimed and broken to people around you and pure and whole to God, than it is to seem to have everything together and perfect for people to see... but be maimed and destroyed for God to see.

Oh, and we often don't have the power to kill things ourselves. But Jesus does. Ask honestly. Ask earnestly. Ask that Jesus would bring things to light in your life that are covered in darkness. From things you know about, to things you won't admit and even things you don't know about. Then ask Him to kill them. Nothing can be redeemed until it has died. including ourselves... Everything can be redeemed to serve God's purposes. But they must be killed and resurrected by Jesus Christ before that can happen.

As Oswald Chambers puts it, "If we have never been hurt by a statement of Jesus, it is questionable whether we have ever really heard Him speak. Jesus Christ has no tenderness whatever toward anything that is ultimately going to ruin a person for the service of God. If the Spirit of God brings to our minds a word of the Lord that hurts, we may be perfectly certain there is something He wants to hurt to death."

I'll end by summarizing a situation in "The Great Divorce."

The main character (the one having the dream) witnesses in heaven (heaven before it is "Heaven", interesting view... too much to explain, just read the book) an engagement of an angel and a soul (a "ghost" in heaven, there to visit and not to stay, they are transparent in the environment) struggling with this exact problem. In the book, the thing that needs to die is lust, represented by a lizard on the soul's shoulder. It starts with the soul walking away, back towards Hell. (or purgatory, at this point.) There is a little red lizard whispering in his ear. And a voice says "off so soon?" The soul says yes, that he enjoyed the visit but that the lizard was giving him trouble and wouldn't shut up. The soul says he realizes that the lizard isn't welcome here, so he had best be off.

The angel (the voice that spoke) offers to shut the lizard up. The soul says he would like that. The angel says "Then I will kill him." But that gets the soul all stirred up. What ensues is an arguement, with the angel continually insisting on killing the lizard, without letting up. pretty much all he says is "may i kill it? can i kill it now?" Quite humorus really, as the soul is just making up excuse after excuse of why it doesn't need to die, including that it will hurt him (the angel has flaming hands to rip it off with) and that it isn't causing him too much trouble at the moment, and that he is too tired at the moment. Humorous, until we realize that we do that every day, and it's quite serious.

The argument culminates to a final climax where the soul blurts out that he wishes the angel would have just killed the lizard without asking, as it would have been easier. The angel counters that he could not kill it against the soul's will, it's impossible. Then he asks once again for permission to kill it. The lizard whispers some things to the soul, one last chance to survive. This is how it ends, from the book...

"Have I your permission?" said the Angel to the Ghost.
"I know it will kill me."
"It won't. But supposing it did?"
"You're right. It would be better to be dead than to live with this creature."
"Then I may?"
"Damn and blast you! Go on, can't you? Get it over. Do what you like," bellowed the Ghost: but ended, whimpering, "God help me. God help me."
Next moment the Ghost gave a scream of agony such as I never heard on Earth. The Burning One [the angel] closed his crimson grip on the reptile: twisted it, while it bit and writhed, and then flung it, broken-backed, on the turf.

It hurt the ghost, but as you see if you read further, the ghost turns solid, like the rest of the permanent inhabitants of heaven. The lizard (lust), killed by the angel, begins to come back to life, turning into a great stallion, representing the pure emotion of desire, or lust redeemed. The now man who was a ghost mounts the Stallion and disappears toward the mountain of God, free from his bondage.

Everybody wants to go to Heaven. But nobody wants to die.

"God, plain and simple: You require purity. And You will make us pure. But we have to ask for it. I know it will hurt, but God it's worth it. Search me, speak to me and let me know what needs to die. The words will hurt, but You will tear out the impurity and replace it with redemption. Thank you, Jesus, that You are faithful and provide a way to purity. We cannot do it on our own, and though it will hurt we beg of You... Make us pure. In Jesus' name."

Who cares?

2006-02-24T15:42:00.000-06:00

Everybody wants to go to heaven. But nobody wants to die.

Ahhhh it's been awhile. A visit to the hospital (bad flu), some sick days, a new cd or 2 and some God times later... I have some more thoughts to get out!

That first line is the first line on the new David Crowder Band CD... powerful. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die to themselves here on earth.

Anyway, wholly unrelated (well maybe a little) to what is on my mind today... but I am listening to the cd right now. Yeah.

So... in all my infinate wisdom... I think I've solved some problems with the world, because that's what I like to do with my time. The church, more specifically. (nb: I do not actually think I have that kind of wisdom, if any... the above was simply a sarcastic introduction to possible lighten the atmosphere).

Uh huh. So these days those Christians who are generally on the fringes of mainstream Christianity (you know the type... the ones who think there's got to be something more than having a metal fish on your car, rocking out to the latest christian cd, or going to church sunday morning)... the "hardcore" ones. The ones that should realize that what really matters after the dream is over is how you're going to support a family, have a house, 2 cars, a nice retirement... Well they seem to think that there needs to be something more to this life. They think there's a spiritual dimension to life that would explain a lot of what's happening in the world today. Possibly that the church of today is largely in shambles, and that it's failing miserably at it's call to reach the world, and affect it for the better.

Well maybe the hardcores, you know, like that guy that turned down your invitation to that wicked party on friday night because he had plans to get up at 7 am on saturday to spend 5 hours with God out in the country... weirdo... well just maybe they have a point.

But if we are the body, why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body, why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them there is a way? (Casting Crowns).

Well. Why not? Could it be that, though we go through all the right motions, though we feel all nice and goose-bumpy after that rippin guitar solo during worship, though we proudly call ourselves Christians after we make sure there's no one around that would take offence.... Could it be that *gasp* *shock* we just really don't care?

OH WELL! Harumph! How dare you! I do to care! I give XX hours a week to do this or that in the church, to put up with bratty junior highs, or crying babies, or hand out bulletins, I DID A SHORT TERM MISSIONS TRIP FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!! how could you even say I don't care I so do... ahh.. what... I don't even know what to say!

How about... maybe you're right...?

How about... maybe if I take a closer look at my life, I really don't actually have any idea what it is that I should be even caring about, any idea what God is focused on in my church, workplace, city... Mabye I don't even care about my life or where it's going, as long as I'm comfortable. Maybe, just maybe, everything I "care" about and give my time to is simply to make me look better? Why do we choose to volunteer in a certain ministry? Because it's where God wants us? Or because it's the easiest... cleanest... safest... most important... _______....?

Maybe if we take a look at the hardcores, you know the ones, the real goody-goodies that have no life and are always changing the atmosphere when they enter a room... They just seem to bring down the level of fun, make us realize how "imperfect" we are without ever saying a word.

Well... could it be that these so labeled hardcores are doing something right? I'm pretty sure that when the atmosphere changes it's God... not that person directly. It just so happens that they're connected with God at a level where He is tangible in their lives. When they enter a room... so does God. And all that comes with God being present. For those that are right with God... peace, joy, communion. For those that aren't? Unease. Conviction. Fear.

I suppose the question could be asked... When we are in the presence of God... what do we feel? Overwhelming joy and peace? or uneasiness and conviction and fear? Maybe that's an indicator of your relationship with God. Do you jump at opportunites to go to meetings where you know God can and will show up? or do you find yourself making excuses, like "no, I'm not really feeling that event tonite." or, "no, that's not really my thing". I have news for you. If you're a Christian, and desire any sort of biblical relationship with God, coming into His presence to experience Him should be what we're feeling, and should be our thing. Especially when our physical self doesn't feel like it.

Well okay. So I don't care. I pretend to, but I really don't. I avoid God because I am scared of what it could mean to experience him. I settle for enough to make me feel good. Maybe the hardcores deserve a second look. So what. What does this mean. What do I do. Is there more? What will I have to do to get there? Do I have to?

Congratulations. You've made it... sort of. You have some idea that maybe what everyone and their mom is calling Christianity these days isn't quite what it was ever meant to be. Maybe I just lost you with that sentence. Either way, you'll probably keep reading, so I should probably say something profound so you can feel satisfied. Well ya know what? Maybe just to prove my point (which I'll get to) I won't say anything profound at all, so you don't feel good. So you get away from the lie that anything to do with Christianity should make you feel nice and special and happy.

If nothing else, I hope I say something that ruffles your feathers enough to get off your pedastal and do some serious searching in the bible to show me exactly where it says Christianity is supposed to make you happy and that it's all about you. At which point God may point you to some truth. In fact you may want to start in 2nd Opinions (props to Joel Hamm).

For those of you still with me who just wish I would get to the point and start making sense... sorry. I'll start trying.

1Co 4:1-13 "Think of us as servants of Christ who have been given the work of explaining God's mysterious ways. And since our first duty is to be faithful to the one we work for, it doesn't matter to me if I am judged by you or even by a court of law. In fact, I don't judge myself. I don't know of anything against me, but that doesn't prove that I am right. The Lord is my judge. So don't judge anyone until the Lord returns. He will show what is hidden in the dark and what is in everyone's heart. Then God will be the one who praises each of us.
Friends, I have used Apollos and myself as examples to teach you the meaning of the saying, "Follow the rules." I want you to stop saying that one of us is better than the other. What is so special about you? What do you have that you were not given? And if it was given to you, how can you brag? Are you already satisfied? Are you now rich? Have you become kings while we are still nobodies? I wish you were kings. Then we could have a share in your kingdom.
It seems to me that God has put us apostles in the worst possible place. We are like prisoners on their way to death. Angels and the people of this world just laugh at us. Because of Christ we are thought of as fools, but Christ has made you wise. We are weak and hated, but you are powerful and respected. Even today we go hungry and thirsty and don't have anything to wear except rags. We are mistreated and don't have a place to live. We work hard with our own hands, and when people abuse us, we wish them well. When we suffer, we are patient. When someone curses us, we answer with kind words. Until now we are thought of as nothing more than the trash and garbage of this world."

Hoah my goodness. Read that again. Maybe twice more.
I'm pretty sure Paul and his apostle buddies were hardcores. But they got it right. lets unpackage.

In a nutshell... Paul is about as hardcore as you can get. Read His description of himself in the above passage. (the last paragraph). Wow. That's going through a lot for God. But EVEN SO: He still says that even though he can't find anything wrong in Himself, it's still not good enough. ... Whaaat? ONLY GOD can judge the depths of our hearts... our motives... our purity. Even when we're airtight to our own view and to that of others... God can still find stuff.

Paul cared. Paul made Himself available to God. 100%. Nothing held back. His life was God's life to use. Paul didn't even stop when he couldn't find anything... ANYTHING bad in his life. He still would ask God to search him and convict him of wrong motives and thoughts. And through Paul, God visibly changed the world. To the point that we still talk about it 2000 years later. Maybe we're on to something.

But why do we get stuck on "oh but Paul, hey Paul did this, oh look at Paul"... He was a NORMAL PERSON. That God called. And he answered. And went.

We're normal people. That God has called. Have we answered? Have we went?

God has called His church to be something more than it is being today. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations! (Mt 28). How can we go therefore and do therefore if we aren't being what we're called to make! When Jesus told us to go make disciples, He assumed that we would care enough about Him (if we call ourselves by His name) to actually BE His disciples! And some of us are. I believe they're called the hardcores. And some of His church is going. And doing. And being. But a good lot of it is sitting. Happy. Content. Taking the nice things that come with Christianity, and leaving the rest behind.

The only problem is, what they are leaving behind is where all the power lies. And that power comes from the hard work. The "hardcore" life. Asking the God who knows us better than anything and anyone (especially ourselves) to continually point out our faults so we can right them in Him. Sacrificing everything we take pleasure in and offering it all to God. Giving our whole and very lives to God, to use when and where He pleases. The life of a disciple. I think I've written more in detail on this so I'll leave it here. Or go read your bible if you're more interested. Or some Tozer, or Oswald Chambers.

The fact is... If we are the body, why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body, why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them there is a way? (Casting Crowns).

The fact is... the "church" is big enough and the world is small enough that there is no excuse for the world to be in the condition it is. There is no excuse for poverty. There is no excuse for world hunger. There is no excuse for people not having heard enough and seen enough of who God really is to make a decision for themselves, unbiased. Why is His love not showing them there is a way?

Because we, Church, don't care. We've lost the romance with God. We've lost the discipline, the discipling, and as a result... the Source. God Himself. Working in those who are pure and surrendered, with nothing to lose and everything to gain, because they've given it all to God, to use to His will.

We've stopped caring, simply enough. We're happy. What more do we need?

Well... God.

"God I'm selfish. I neglect you and put my effort and energy into things that don't matter, or worse, things that grieve you. I offer up empty prayers and sacrifice the things I'm bored of, just to justify my life. I settle for "good enough" (when it really isn't at all), instead of straining for the best. I laugh at the hardcore at times, and then wonder why they world's going to crap.
But I'm sick of it all. I want you. I want all that comes with that. I want to know you like Paul did, and more importantly like Jesus did. I want to never be satisfied, but always pushing for the best in you. I want you to use me wherever and whenever I am. I want to be a hardcore. For you. And not care what others think and say, because I know you and I know that you know me. And that is what matters in the end. Because with that simple fact I can become all that you want me to be, for your glory. This is what I want, to the cross with all else. This is life. You... are life. Everything else will lead to death, if we don't send it there first. I want to care. In Jesus' name."

Are we really useful to God?

2006-02-11T15:13:00.000-06:00

Well well... another day, another God time, another conviction... Another blog article.

The conviction today, in the form of a question, is whether we really are useful to God. Not whether God can use us or not; that answer is painfully clear throughout the scriptures and the world. But rather, the question is whether I (we) are MAKING OURSELVES useful and useable for God. God will use us if we present ourselves as useable... but are we? Maybe this is why we always feel like there should be something more, like God isn't as near as He should be, or as near as he could be.

Maybe it's because when we do things "for God" with a proud heart God is actually against us. Maybe it's because when we do things "for God" in our own strength, we tell God that he isn't needed. Maybe it's because when we're too busy with life we don't want God to interrupt with His schedule. Maybe it's because, even though Jesus said some interesting things, we still know better; I mean really now, times have changed over the past 2000 years. How can we honestly expect Jesus to understand our schedules and our priorities and our lives?

Maybe if you're like me and all those things listed above hit home a little too hard... you need to do some serious business with God.

1Co 1:26 - 31 "For behold your calling, brethren, that not many wise after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: but God chose the foolish things of the world, that he might put to shame them that are wise; and God chose the weak things of the world, that he might put to shame the things that are strong; and the base things of the world, and the things that are despised, did God choose, yea and the things that are not, that he might bring to nought the things that are: that no flesh should glory before God. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who was made unto us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption: that, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord."

For behold your CALLING brethren... not many who are wise in the world, mighty, noble... are called. But the foolish, weak things are. Chosen by God. To shame the strong. To BRING TO NOTHING those that are something... that NO FLESH SHOULD GLORY BEFORE GOD.

We need to make ourselves nothing in the world for God to be able to use us! If we're too caught up in the things of the world... If we glorieth... let us glory in the Lord! As Oswald Says, "The only way any man or woman can ever be of service to God is when he or she is willing to renounce all natural excellencies and determine to be weak in Him - "I am here for one thing only, for Jesus Christ to manifest Himself in me." That is to be the steadfast habit of a Christian's life. Whenever we think we are of use to God, we hinder him."

But But But... what can we do if we're weak? We can't let others know we are weak! They'll tear us apart! How are we going to convert people to Christianity if they think we're a bunch of weaklings? If we're nothing what can we do? Why would God want us to become nothing? How is that loving? I thought we were SUPPOSED to want to serve God and be of use... now we can't even try to be? AHHHHH...

Now now... calm yourself. There are answers.

2 Co 12:5-10 "...On mine own behalf I will not glory, save in my weaknesses. For if I should desire to glory, I shall not be foolish; for I shall speak the truth: but I forbear, lest any man should account of me above that which he seeth me to be, or heareth from me. And by reason of the exceeding greatness of the revelations, that I should not be exalted overmuch, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, that I should not be exalted overmuch. Concerning this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he hath said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Wherefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

Last I checked, Paul was one of the people in history that God unarguably used in very great ways. He lead or helped lead many to Christ. Heck, if it weren't for Him, we wouldn't even have most of the new testament! But look what He himself says in the passage above.

"I won't give glory to myself, except to my weaknesses. Let men make their opinions from what they see me do and hear me say, not what I say about myself. God gives me great revelations (half of the new testament). But so I won't over-exalt myself in that, I got a thorn in the flesh from Satan (a disease maybe?) to keep me humbled. I brought it to God 3 times, but all He said was 'My grace is sufficient for you, and my power is made perfect in your weakness'. Well, I suppose I'd rather take pleasure in my weakness so the power of Christ can be in me. I take pleasure now in weakness, injuries, necessities, persecutions, distresses for CHRIST'S SAKE... for when I am weak, I am Strong."

Read it in the message version too, it's good there as well (biblegateway.com if you don't have a copy).

We must stay humble. We must stay poor in our spirits. We must come to a place where we do nothing in our own strength. When we do stuff on our own, without God, we might as well be telling God that we don't need him. That we're better than him. "You sit this one out, God. You look like you could use a breather. I'll handle it."

How do we do this? Well, Oswald has the answer once again. Is your mind stayed on God... or is it starved?

Isaiah 26:3 "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Focus on God, always. Ha easier said than done. But it's a habit that needs to be formed. Learn to constantly re-focus on God, no matter what you do. Keep the eyes above, and your mind on God, and everything you do on earth will begin to reflect that. Will you look like a fool most of the time? Probably. Will you see tangible results most of the time? Probably not. Will people mock you and take advantage of you? Probably. Will people think you're weak? Probably. Will you become weak, and injured and needy and persecuted and distressed? Most likely. But it will be for Christ's sake, and in YOUR weakness, Jesus is made strong in you. Which, according to my basic understanding, is the point of Christianity.

When we get to the place where we are continually focused on God, where we have given up our rights to all fleshly pleasures and desires, where we are content with weakness for Christ's sake... We will finally become fully useful to God. When we no longer try to do things on our own strength, when we no longer do things to glorify ourselves, but only to glorify God... We will be seen as useable in God's eyes.

And if we keep making this life-shaping and life-changing decision day after day, and NOT let it get to our heads...

We just might get to the end of our time on earth, and hear "Well done, good and faithful servent" as we enter into eternal life, with He who makes us alive.

Quotes to chew on

2006-02-09T15:09:00.000-06:00

Welll I see it has been a little bit since I last posted, which is weird because it totally dosen't feel like it. Anyway. Post time!

And for today... Some sweet quotes from Oswald Chambers (I think they're all from 'Studies on the Sermon on the Mount') for you all to indulge in. Who knows, some of my thoughts may end up in here as well. I guess we'll wait and see.

"Don't bother about whether you are growing in grace or whether you are being of use to others, but believe on Jesus and out of you will flow rivers of living water."

I like this one specifically because I've had a number of prophetic words over my life about rivers flowing from me and stuff... And this is how; simply focus on Jesus.

"Refuse to be swamped by the cares of the world, cut out the non-essentials and continually revise your relationship to God and see that you are concentrated absolutely on him. The man who trusts Jesus Christ in a definate, practical way is freer than anyone else to do his work in the world. Free from fret and worry, he can go with absolute certainty into the daily life because the responsibility of his life is not on him but on God. if once we accept the revelation of Jesus Christ that God is our father and that we can never think of anything he will forget, worry becomes impossible!"

Yeah... don't worry about anything in the world. Just focus on your relationship with God and concentrate 100% on Him. Very freeing. Especially because I used to worry a lot about dumb things (and I guess still sometimes do).

"Always make allowances for people when they first enter into life; they have to enter on the fanatical line. The danger is lest they stay too long in the stage of fanaticism. When fanaticism steps over the bounds, it becomes spiritual lunacy. In the beginning of the life of grace we have to limit ourselves all round in right things as well as wrong; but if when God begins to bring us out of the light of our convictions into the light of the Lord, we prefer to remain true to our convictions, we become spiritual lunatics. Walking in the light of convictions is a necessary stage, but there is a grander, purer, sterner light to walk in, viz, the light of the Lord."

Wow, I love this one. It really shows what entering into new life is really supposed to look like. And how we as Christians who are "off the bottle (no, not alcohol, milk)" are to treat and help them. We must enter in as new Christians on the fanatical line, allowing God to completely begin to remake us. If we don't do this, nothing will change in our lives and we will likely fall away quite soon after. But we must not stay any longer than necessary at this stage, as we will get too caught up in our convictions than compared to God. There comes a time when we must walk away from our convictions as the be-all end-all and focus only on God. He will let us know exactly what to do and what not to do.

"Your father (God) is keenly and divinely interested in you, and prayer becomes the "chatter" of a child to his father"

Pretty self-explanitory. Go learn about God's father heart, it'll do you good if you havn't.

"We are inclined to take everything and everyone serious saving God; Jesus took nothing and no one seriously but his father, and teaches us to be as children before men but earnest before God."

I love this one too... (in fact I love all of these, that's why they're up here). Really puts things in perspective and stuff. Don't care what people think or say or do or how they act. Care about what God thinks and says and does and how he acts and acted. Be as uncaring about taking man seriously as children are. But be real before God.

These last four are my top favorites though.

"Innocence in a child's life is a beautiful thing, but men and women ought not to be innocent, they ought to be tested and tried and pure."

MMMM I love it. Innocence? No. Hiding from realities of life on earth does nobody any good. But being tested and tried and pure... now that's something worth going for.

"If Jesus is a teacher only, then all he can do is tantalise us by erecting a standard we cannot come anywhere near. But if by being born again from above we know him first as savior, we know that he did not come to teach us only; he came to make us what he teaches us we should be."

Yeaaaaah. Transformation and re-birth baby. Thank you Jesus for making this possible :).

"The only right a christian has is the right to give up [their] rights."

Ha. Love it. So true.

and lastly....
"We always say we do not know what Jesus Christ means when we know perfectly well he means something which is a blunt impossibility unless he can remake us and make it possible. Jesus brings us with terrific force straight up against the impossible, and until we get to the place of despair we will never receive from him the grace that enables us to do the impossible and manifest his spirit."

Wow. Powerful, puts my excuses (saying we don't know what he means) to shame, when that quote rings truer than true in my life.

Well, chew on those. Hopefully God can use them as a source of revelation in your life as he has mine. Oh, and when you get a chance go buy every book ever written by Oswald Chambers and read them all on your knees, begging God for some revelation from these amazingly anointed works.

Ciao.

The filth of the world

2006-02-03T10:58:00.000-06:00

So this morning during God time I am prayin away and decide that maybe God wants to say something, so I figured I'd shut up for a few minutes and listen. And He gives me this picture.

Maybe I should preface this a little. So I've been on a journey of learning just what it means to be surrendered to God fully, to become His true disciple, dead to self and alive only in Him. Sanctification. Purity. Yadda yadda. So this morning I'm praying for a deeper understanding of what it means to be an intimate lover of Jesus Christ (I know, kinda weird; me, a guy, intimate lover of Jesus... That's why I need a deeper understanding :) ) and just a continuing deepening of my understanding of Lordship before Jesus. So back to the vision.

I see a wall of fire, like you know, the fire of *ohhh* "sanctification". The kind that when you step out into God fully you step into, and stay for the rest of your life. Where God can burn away all impurities, all crap, all sin... the refiner's fire. And so I'm like sweet, I know God's been burning away a lot of stuff in my life that shouldn't be there, and it's been good times. "I wonder what God is showing me about this fire". Then I see myself in the picture... standing outside the fire. Oh sure, I'm close enough that the flames can reach me to do a bit of cleaning and purifying... But I've yet to jump. wow.

So my answer... To discover how to become pure, sanctified, intimate lovers of Jesus Christ, surrendered to the Lordship of Christ... We have to jump in the fire. Being close to it and still seeing progress is not good enough. We have to suck it up and jump in! Yes, it will hurt. Yes, we'll get burned. Yes, we'll die. But so will all the crap in our lives. So will the sin; the selfishness, the 'need' for comfort, the judgements, the, well, sin. And then God will bring us back from the dead... but our sin will stay dead. And THAT is discipleship. That is what God desires. That we will willingly do what it takes to follow without exception. And life isn't perfect after we've been through the fire. The fire can take a long time. We can go back in numerous times... in fact maybe we should just settle permanently in the fire. Either way, this is the life we (disciples of Jesus Christ) have chosen.

To put Jesus at such a place in our lives that by comparison we hate those on earth we love... (family, friends, etc.). To have Jesus at a place in our lives where 100% of everything we are, have and do is His. And to confidently offer the rest to those we love in life, knowing that they won't necessarily understand. (Ha! Necessarily.) The narrow road is right.

Well. Wow. So I need to get my butt going. Start doing stuff for Jesus, physically jumping in to the fire of the disciple's life. And then I open my daily dose of Oswald and !OH! lo and behold, guess what Os has to say today. The title? "Becoming the Filth of the world." Well. This sounds like a good way to get going on that whole burning thing.

What's the first thing Os says? well, after quoting 1 cor 4:13 (here's from 10, in context)

"We are fools for Christ's sake, but ye are wise in Christ; we are weak, but ye are strong; ye have glory, but we have dishonor. Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwelling-place; and we toil, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we endure; being defamed, we entreat: we are made as the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things, even until now."

He says: These words are not an exaggeration. The only reason they may not be true of us who call ourselves ministers of the gospel is not that Paul forgot or misunderstood the exact truth of them, but that we are too cautious and concerned about our own desires to allow ourselves to become the refuse or "filth of the world."

Well Duh. Who would want to be called the "filth of the world"? Well nobody. Unless they are the radical disciples that Jesus is looking for.

Col 1:24 "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and fill up on my part that which is lacking of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church;"

First Paul says he rejoices in His sufferings. Then, as evidence of his consecration, or separation to the gospel of Jesus, asks to be filled with the afflictions of Christ in His flesh. Well that might not mean much at first glance. But let's see what my friend Webster has to say about the word "Afflict".

Afflict: 1. To give to the body or mind pain which is continued or of some permanence; to grieve, or distress; as, one is afflicted with the gout, or with melancholy, or with losses and misfortunes.
Affliction: 1. The state of being afflicted; a state of pain, distress, or grief

SO: First, Paul rejoices in His sufferings. Then He askes for the affliction (the bodily and mind pain which is continued and permanent) of Christ in Him. Well. The pain Christ went through was excruciating. And Paul is rejoicing in sharing that with Him. Almost as if it is a necessary part of discipleship... Well that seems kind of strange, no? Well lets see what Peter has to say about strange things.

1 Peter 4:12 - 14
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.

Hmm... Not so strange anymore. And then Os Says:

We pay such close attention to our own interests and desires that we stay out of the mire and say, "I won't submit; I won't bow or bend." And you don't have to - you can be saved by the "skin of your teeth" if you like. You can refuse to let God count you as one who is "separated to the gospel..." Or you can say, "I don't care if I am treated like the 'filth of the world' as long as the gospel is proclaimed." A true servant of Jesus Christ is one who is willing to experience martyrdom fo the reality of the gospel of God.

Just read the beatitudes in the beginning of Matthew 5; see what Jesus tells us to be, and what the reward is. The majority of them will have us wind up as the filth of the world.

"Whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple" - Jesus (Lk 14:27)

Well to me it's clear. It's time to step into the fire, following radically and passionately after Jesus. It's going to hurt. We're going to get burned. We're going to die. It's not going to be fun a lot of the time.

But we'll learn to live lives of purity. We'll learn the true meaning of "affliction", "sanctification", "Intimate love with Jesus" and what it means to have Jesus as the true Lord of our lives. We will learn to share in the Joy of the Lord and be counted "separated to the gospel" by God.

I'm sick of salvation by the skin of my teeth. I'm sick of weak faith because the works are not attached. I'm sick of living a meaningless, mediocre, boring and uselessly painful existence! I want Jesus to be the center of everything, and for that to give life new meaning, and new substance. I can't wait to die in the fire, even though it's going to hurt and not be pretty. Because once I die, God can give me new life. Separated from the world. Separated to the Gospel. Separated to God.

"Jesus I want to radically follow you as you call us. It's going to hurt. I'm going to have to let go of things I love to hold on to. I'm going to have to give everything to you and keep nothing for anyone else, including myself. But it's going to be worth it. And I am ready. I'm jumping in. Do your worst. I love you."

Shameless plugs, Huckabees and Marriage.

2006-02-02T10:45:00.000-06:00

Well today we'll have a bit shorter of a post, nothing too incredibly burning on my heart today :).
So first of all, every one of you should go out and get a copy of "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers... it's a daily devotional, a page or less each day. But it's the most anointed devotion I've ever read, and it's ridiculously challenging and amazing. If you're up for it.
Oh Oh and download E-Sword (Link is on the left), best free bible program ever. Tons of versions, tons of commentaries, dictionaries, graphics, plus a HUGE amount of extra resources, enough to keep you reading and studying for, well, several years, if you don't go into any detail :). VERY Solid program.
And read "Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer. Actually anything by him. And by Oswald Chambers.

Well that's about enough of that.

So I watched "I Heart Huckabees" for the first time yesterday. Quite an interesting but very well made movie. I enjoyed it. And other than one... sort of... sex scene (you don't actually see any nudity, but it's still awkward... close your eyes) and some language (which i must say does kinda fit the movie... in a weird way) it's definately a recommender. It's basically all about existentialism and nihlism, but not really promoting it... in the end it kinda shows that neither are good, leaving the door open for Jesus (though I doubt that was their intention). Anyway. yeeeah.

Oh and I was reading and thinking a bit about marriage this morning during "God Time" and realized that its not going to be all that easy to be married and a serious disciple... I guess the key is to find a wife with the same views... so we can both hate each other for the sake of Jesus (not literally, don't worry, I'm not a nut... but compared to our love for Jesus :). Read Luke 14:26 and on). But hey. The point of life is not to be completely devoted to your wife (or husband). The point of life is to be completely devoted to Jesus, and if you have a wife that shares that with you then all the power to you.

I suppose it's just wise to heed Paul's warning in 1 Cor 7 and make sure that if you get married it won't make life harder for you trying to follow Jesus. Find a spouse with the same burning passion for Jesus and the same calling, and make sure you stay grounded in Jesus in all you do. Easier said than done I would suppose, I've never been married... but hey, it sounds nice in theory. Better in my eyes than not getting married at all like Paul suggests (though needless to say that would make following Jesus easier... But where's the fun in that?)

Well I suppose that's all for now. Later y'all.

Life? What's it all about?

2006-02-01T12:13:00.000-06:00

Well well revelation has hit again... this time in the form of Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest", with a healthy dose of John, Romans and James. (this is long, hope you have a few minutes :) )

I've been thinking and praying a lot about where intimacy and relationship with God fits in to the Christian life, and just how it really comes about. I've discovered that it is the key to any sort of meaningful walk, and one of the ways if not THE way to step into all that God has for us, daily.

But this morning during ... "God Time"... (Ha I love that name... it sounds so lame, but it's so awesome!) God gave me some new revelation that I'm going to try to piece together and understand here. Enjoy!

1 Cor 1:17 - For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not in wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made void.

For Paul, the thrust of His ministry, His calling, was to simply preach the gospel, to anyone who would listen. (Jews and Greeks alike). But we must remember that Paul's definition of "the gospel" is basically "The revelation of God's righteousness from faith to faith, bringing with it the power of God for salvation". (Rom 1:16 - 17).

Huh. What? Well, as Oswald pointed out, we are often inclined to make salvation or sanctification, or many other things for that matter, the point or goal of our preaching of "the gospel". For me, sanctification has been a big one, as that is what God has been working at a lot lately. But the point Paul, and later Oswald, and now I have made, (okay I am making, tenses are hard in lists), is that as Christians our call is to preach the gospel that Paul described; the revelation of God, simply put. Everything else will follow that, if we allow God to make that revelation real through our preaching.

Now, not to say sanctification isn't important, but taking a fresh look at it, isn't focusing first on sanctifying ourselves a little selfish? We aren't commanded to preach personal sanctification to people as the be-all end-all to Christianity, so why do we (I) treat it like it is? We're human, we'll never be 100% sanctified except through the power of Christ, so why worry so much about it?

We are called and commanded to lift up the name of Jesus, to preach "the revelation of God's righteousness" (the gospel) to everyone. Well wait a sec, that's not new news at all, is it? "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature"... sound familiar? (mk 16:15) Oh Oh tangent, which leads nicely to my next point! What does verses 16 - 18 say? well, that those who believe and are baptized (publicly professes their faith, being "reborn") will be saved... yeah okay... then, And these signs will follow those who believe, In MY Name they will cast out demons, speak with new tounges, take up serpents and drink anything deadly and it won't hurt them... they will lay hands on the sick and they will recover... yeah... wait. We can do that!?

Yes, yes we can. So why don't we? Well, if we've accepted this gospel of Christ, this "revelation of God's righteousness from FAITH to FAITH"... "as it is written, the just (righteous) shall live by faith".

Experienced the power of salvation... Check.
Experienced God's righteousness in our own lives through Faith and the power of God... ohhh... snap?

Yay more from Romans. Chapter 2! Wait let's back it up. from 1:18 to 32 Paul describes a lot of people who do a lot of bad things... who are... unrighteous. Oh, there's that word again... (read it if you want). Then back to chapter 2, he warns against judgement of others (those we are "bringing the gospel to", maybe?) because it is the goodness of God that leads people to repentance... not being judged by us stupid humans! (that turns people away from God, if you didn't catch that... Let God do the judging, or be judged in the same way, as a sinner, yadda yadda). BUT 2:6-8, God will render to each one according to his deeds (what, we can't just accept God then go back to our old life to get to heaven!?!?):
ETERNAL life to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and incorruption(immortality) and...
INDIGNATION AND WRATH to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unRIGHTEOUSNESS...

Hmm that word again. But, self-seeking... does that not remind us of our self-sanctification focus? I mean maybe if your efforts are completely selfless in motive... but I mean lets be real for a minute. We're human.

So what to do? vs. 10 : But glory, honor and peace to everyone who works what is Good... Well those are all good things... but from WORK? I thought salvation by grace was a gift? Yeah. It is. Last I checked the grace of salvation is free. to anyone who wants it. But once we have accepted that gift, the life of Christianity begins. Work. Faith by works... wait, here comes a connection.

Connect verse 10 with Paul's thoughts 4 verses earlier, and we find that eternal life goes to those who patiently continue working and doing good seeking glory, honor and incorruption or immortality. Fastforward back to verse 10, glory, honor and peace will go to those who work what is good. Glory, Honor. Peace. Incorruption. Sounds like some products of self-sanctification to me.

Focus on working the good deeds that God would have us do, and self-sanctification will come as a by-product! Possibly one of the most important by-products, but nonetheless... The more we work for God His good works, the more sanctified we become, allowing us to do more for God, which will in turn sanctify us more! What a sweet circle!

God is the only one who can make us righteous. Through Christ Jesus. And He will do so in His timing. If we have surrendered our lives to God, God realizes that. And He will, at His leisure, keep us on our toes and moving toward righteousness. We can't keep doing great things for Him if He isn't remaking us and re-building our character. But He uses SITUATIONS to do that. If we surrender our life to God, as great as that is, but just sit around waiting for Him to make us perfect and sanctified before we go out and do His work... wow we've missed the point. And we'll miss the sanctification.

For in [the gospel of Jesus] the righteousness of God is revealed, from FAITH to FAITH; as it is written "The just (righteous) shall live by faith". Rom 1:17...

But in James 2 we learn that Faith without Works is ... DEAD. 2:14: What doth it profit, my brethren, if a man say he hath faith, but have not works? can that faith save him?

Wow. Faith leads to Righteousness leads to Sanctification. But Faith without works is Dead. and not just that...

James 2:19-24 Thou believest that God is one; thou doest
well: the demons also believe, and shudder. But wilt thou
know, O vain man, that faith apart from works is barren?
Was not Abraham our father justified by works, in that he
offered up Isaac his son upon the altar?
Thou seest that faith wrought with his works, and by works
was faith made perfect [righteous]; and the scripture was
fulfilled which saith, And Abraham believed God, and it was
reckoned unto him for righteousness; and he was called the
friend of God. Ye see that by works a man is justified, and not
only by faith.

Huh. Well you have faith that God exists. Great. So do the
demons. And they have a proper fear of the Lord too (ohh i feel that'll be another blog soon). Don't you see! FAITH IS MADE WHOLE BY WORKS. which leads to RIGHTEOUSNESS. which leads to being called a FRIEND OF GOD. Intimacy. Wow. I love this stuff.

So let's try to tie this all together and make it coherent with a final thought and scripture. John 12. See what Jesus has to say about the whole matter. Read the whole chapter if you want context, but I'm just going to pull out my points. Unless you DIE you will not bear fruit. If you love your life, you will lose it. Give it up, hate the selfishness, greed, sin that comes with it... and let it die. Let Jesus nail it to the Cross. God will give you a new one. (Jesus said that).

Verse 26... If anyone serves Me, let him FOLLOW me; and where I am, there My servant is also. If anyone serves me, Him my father will honor.

If we are Christians, we must Follow Jesus, as we are Servants to Christ. That is the price we pay for the Christian life. But if we follow Him, We should be where He is. Not expect Him to come to us. We want to work with Jesus to make whole our faith. But we have to do the work that Jesus wants us to do, where He wants us to do it. We may not always want to, but it's necessary!
Verse 27 - JESUS SAID!: "Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? Father save me from this hour? (in other words I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!) BUT for this purpose I came to this hour. Father, Glorify your name."

Wow. *cough*. Well doesn't that make my excuses for not talking to that guy on the bench look stooooopid. Jesus died on the cross for all of us. Did he want to? uhmmm nope. But God wanted Him to. And He wanted what God wanted (like we should). So He did. And he didn't complain about it. He said "Father, Glorify Your name!". And later we see God in turn Exalts Him and gives Him the name above EVERY Name. That at His name every knee shall bow (Phil. 2:9). Because He did what God wanted where He wanted Him to.

Jesus' faith was made complete by works. He did EVERYTHING he saw the father doing, because He always saw the father. The Righteous shall live by faith (and works). Jesus was the only human to ever be perfect, sinless and completely righteous.

Maybe we should take the hint.

"God, I want to be righteous, I want to be sanctified and called your friend. I want intimacy, and I want you to glorify me as I glorify You. But I don't want to chase these things because that is self-seeking! But You tell us to want these things. It's confusing but you've given me clarity.
Father help me to focus on You all my days, and be where You are, and do all I see you doing. Through my works given to You my faith will be made complete, and from there the gospel has its full effect, for as it has revealed your righteousness and made it obtainable, I shall obtain it through Jesus!

Thank you that you know what you're doing, and that you show us every now and again. We'd be lost without you. All the Glory to You. In Jesus' Name."

Worship!

2006-01-31T13:38:00.000-06:00

So... Worship has been on my heart lately. Here are some thoughts. ... Enjoy...?

Rom 12:1-2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service [of worship]. And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

Worship is not singing, worship is not painting, worship is not praying out psalms or words, even if they have a deep meaning... worship is not DOING anything. Worship is the attitude of the heart, while "doing" is simply a tool to express our heart attitude in practical ways.
Presenting our bodies to God as a living and holy sacrifice, that is acceptable to God, is our reasonable service of worship! We do this by not being conformed to the world, or of the world... but simply by being ambassadors, pure and holy, in the world with our lives fully surrendered to Christ.
We CANNOT, according to this, truly worship God unless we are in an attitude of surrender... ie, we cannot come before God and call it true worship if we are not allowing God to convict us and change our ways to become like Christ; to ultimately be a useable, surrendered vessel for God to use on the earth.
If we are not Living a life that has died to ourselves and has new life in Christ alone, can we really truly worship? Sure we can sing, sure we can dance, cry, shout and paint. But if it isn't flowing from our hearts, if it isn't originating from a cry so pure and unadulturated, from a longing so deep that words cannot even do it justice... unless we have come to a place with God where we are at the complete end of ourselves and have realized that no miniscule portion of our new lives are about us; where all we can do is barely mouth the words "Abba, father!", and unless we are truly passionate about removing all barriers that lie between us and God... no matter how much it might hurt at the time... is it really worship?
John 4:23 But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and truth: for such doth the Father seek to be his worshippers.
John 4:24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship in spirit and truth.

But the hour cometh, and now is... Worshippers are rising up all over that are sick of tradition, that are sick of mindless repetition of songs and words over and over. They are sick to their stomach when they see people choosing to not engage, rather to either sing for the sake of singing, DO for the sake of doing; or also to sit back wholly uninterested, which, by the way, I find better than even engaging artificially.

When true worshippers shall worship the Father in SPIRIT and TRUTH... True worship, worship that is not adulturated by piety, pride, apathy, or... well... ourselves, comes from the Spirit of God in us. We cannot come to the end of ourselves, we cannot be truly poor in spirit, meek, humble or hunger and thirst for righteousness, be pure in heart and take joy in persecution, until the Spirit of God has done a work in us. And it is only from this position that I find true worship really begins to flow from the depth of my being, my spirit, soul and body. As the spirit begins to work these things in us and bring them about (matt 5) through conviction, repentance, and renewing of life, dying to ourselves and gaining new life in Christ... We begin to reap the harvests; inheriting the kingdom of heaven and the earth, being truly filled with God and from God, seeing God... from here true rejoicing can take place.

We must worship in truth... God is truth. WE must allow God to remake us, to tear down what stands between us and Him that we may have a true, unblocked path where we can come to God and experience Him, safe from the lies of the enemy and ourselves. If there is blockage we CANNOT Experience God until we deal with it!
'God! I want to experience you, I want to see you, I want all that you have for me today! But there is something blocking me, a stronghold I am holding on to that is keeping me from seeing you. Holy Spirit, reveal it to me! Search my soul and my heart and reveal to me what is there that I might repent and be connected with you! In Jesus' Name!'

And we need to mean this. We need to be serious. God isnt' looking for pretenders, God isn't looking for people willing to give half of themselves to the cause. God is looking for people willing to devote 100% to the cause, All of themselves, to reach His Good goal! And giving 100% means doing what it takes to Worship God in a way that will be pleasing to Him. Not worshipping because we are tired or don't feel like it is not giving 100% to God. I see God weeping when we choose to keep our rights instead of laying them down to Him. I'm guilty of this way too many times. But I've learned that pushing in, even when you feel least like it, will often lead to the biggest breakthroughs in relationship and intimate times of worship.

For such doth the Father seek to be His WORSHIPPERS!... These are the worshippers God is seeking; of this, a rare breed, does the Father seek. Those who take Him seriously, above all, but before the drop of a hat will lay down any and all rights that they claim in their lives. We tend to take everything and everyone seriously save for God... Jesus, however, took nothing and no one seriously save for God.

When We obey Jesus and Love the Lord God with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength, allowing the spirit of God to remake us where we fall short... to tear us apart and rebuild from the ground up... we can truly begin to worship God.

Until we choose to give up our lives, every single part of them, unconditionally, and allow God's Spirit to begin its work in us, I dare say we will never enter in to true worship in spirit and in truth. And though we may be saved by grace, if we stop there and choose not to embrace God completely, We will never become the worshippers that the Father seeks to be His... and will never be able to truly cry out, from a pit of despair at the very end of ourselves, "Abba... Father...", weeping in pure joy, face down on the ground, paying heed not to anything around you; weeping for a lack of any other human expression worthy of praising God for the experience of meeting Him face to face.

Worship. Intimacy. Christianity.

"God! I want You! I'm sick of 'Doing' without being; being in You. I'm sick of calling what we do 'worship', when it is really just empty rituals. "Religion". But you call us to something deeper, something real. Something so much more than empty ritual, no matter how 'spiritual' we claim it to be. You call us to worship from a place of intimacy and truth, being in your spirit. It's the cry of my heart. And the longing of Yours. Jesus, I want to become like You. Pure. Holy. Righteous. Right-less. Transformed, by Your Spirit. But more than that I want to experience You. I want intimacy and relationship with You. And I want to share that with others, in all I do.
Holy Spirit, teach me to worship, and from that let all else flow. From the end of myself flows life, from You, the very source of life itself.

I Love you. So much. Take me, Abba Father... and have Your way. In Jesus' Name."

Disclaimer (welcome here :) )

2006-01-31T13:37:00.000-06:00

Well. I have a lot of stuff always boiling around in my head. Stuff about life, God, myself, you know, all that fun stuff.

Anyway, instead of just filing it away in a journal where it will just sit and rot, I figure I may as well post it up here, so that if you are feeling the same as me, you may gain inspiration, revelation or, well, see what not to do :). As God wills.

I suppose I should post a disclaimer... I in no way claim to be a theologian, scholar or really anything other than a child of the most High God trying to make my way through life in a way pleasing to God. I am simply on a journey, and will be all my life, to discover what life is really all about, what God truly desires and what we should truly desire from Him.

If you find any theoligical errors, docrinal errors or really anything else you don't like then I apologize. If it will make you feel better you can write me hate mail, though I would hope that you would take a more mature approach, bring it to God, and if you still feel troubled then write me a nice letter pointing out where you feel I've gone wrong, and I in turn will promise to bring that before God and gain any revelation or insight from it that I can.

I am young, and like all of us I am learning. But I make no excuse for anything said here, as it is from real and heart felt wrestling through life, with God and with myself. Take it as you will, and please, whether you find yourself agreeing or not, bring it to God and discover His truth in it.

And if you have questions, feel free to contact me as well.

God Bless in your journey.