To Love the Lord Your God...

... With all your heart, soul, mind and strength. This is the first commandment.

Simple enough, right?

Well... wrong. For me, anyway. I'm coming to realize that I really don't think that we as Christians (or non christians for that matter) have any way of fathoming how deep this commandment really goes. Essentially, Jesus is telling us that if there is one thing for us to focus on, one commandment to spend our lives on achieving fully, one thing that should consume our attention... It is to Love God with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength.

But let's just look at that for a minute. Now what, do you suppose, would it look like practically to love God with just all of our hearts, ignoring the other three for now? Well, first of all, our whole hearts would have to be fully devoted to loving God, at all times. No room in our hearts for loving anything or anyone else, whatsoever - including ourselves (Luke 14:26?). If our heart's attention was 100% on God, loving him with ALL our heart... we would continually be awestruck by the fact that the more we love Him, the more we find to love about Him. The deeper we go, the deeper we can see... but we'll never see the end.

"But... but..." you say... "If we're Christians, aren't we supposed to love people too? and you're saying there's to be no room left in our hearts to love other people with our love... what's up?" Well, I suppose that's the next point... We'll get to that. But think about it. It's not that simple to love God this much, is it? Impossible? No. But is it impossible without dedication, absolute surrender and allowing Jesus to make it so? I would venture an educated guess and say yes.

Now back to loving others... If we are really loving God with all of our hearts, that's the best place to be... because we are in a place to be filled by God. All love flowing out of us to others will be the love of God... with nothing from ourselves to taint that pure love. In fact, the other commandment Jesus includes with the first is that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves... but it's pretty clear throughout the bible that self-love is sin, and separates us from God... So is Jesus saying that we aren't supposed to love our neighbors?

Well the way I see it, quite the opposite. If we follow the order of commandments He gave us, before we even begin to try to love our neighbors, we should be loving God with all of our hearts. If one was to reach this point, there would be no room left of their own love to love either their neighbor, or themselves. But they will know the love of God towards themselves. And it is once we take on the view of God toward the world as our own view that we will realize we must love our neighbors as we know love ourselves... as God loves us.

Jesus commands us to feed His sheep, if we really love Him. In fact, He says this three times to Peter... "Peter, do you love me?" after Peter says yes, Jesus simply says "then feed (or tend) my sheep." But He gives us nothing to feed His sheep with. Except ourselves, and Himself. As disciples and believers that have moved from the position of "newborns", we must begin to feed His lambs, the other new-borns. He continues by saying we must then as we grow tend His sheep, then feed them... If we love Him. We must allow - and encourage - those who have not learned to feed directly from God as we have to drain us and feed off of us, off of our overflow from God. And Jesus' only prerequisite to this command... was asking if we love Him. If we love God fully, everything flowing from us should be of God... and therefor safe for new believers to feed on.

Last night I was at the Vineyard (a church in the area) for an intercession/worship night, and I felt like I couldn't quite connect with God as I have recently, so I did some self-checking and realized that I was (am) suffering from the sin of self-love. I realized that I don't in fact love God anywhere near the capacity He calls us to. And most importantly, I realized that this needs to change.

The question now begs... How? Just HOW do we come to love God with ALL of our heart, ALL of our soul, ALL of our mind and ALL of our strength? Just HOW do we embrace total surrender to Jesus? And HOW do we make sure we have the right motives for doing so? Simply out of a ridiculous love for Jesus?

I don't know.

I have some ideas. But I'm not going to pretend they are answers. To be honest, I'm pretty sure there isn't a set list of things to do, any certain procedure to follow. There isn't a 10 step program to loving God, and Dr. Phil certainly doesn't have the answers. But I'm also pretty sure that the answers are out there, if we were to care enough to look for them... though they'll be different for all of us.

And this is where the tough part sets in. This is where we need to make the choice... to dig in and persevere, no matter the cost or the pain... or to give up and take the easy road.

I venture to say that none of us will ever perfect these things. Jesus was the only man that ever has or will. Some may come close, but they will be few. And when you meet these few there will be something in their lives that you crave more than anything you have imagined. Though I'm also quite confident to say that these few will not feel like they are they are even in this place. In fact, I'm led to believe that the closer you come to purity, the more you realize that you will never obtain it... but to those pure in heart and chasing after God for the right reasons... this fact will do nothing but drive them to pursue it even more. Those doing it simply to gain for themselves will just get discouraged and get off the horse along the way.

Jesus said "Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it." (Matt 7:13-14). Few indeed. But the great thing is, EVERY ONE OF US has the capacity to find it, if we so choose.

And there's that problem again. We must choose. And that, for me, is what it comes down to. No matter how close or far we feel from God, no matter how strong or weak our relationship is, no matter what is in our way... If we simply choose, day in and day out to persevere and give all we can to God, we WILL find the narrow road, and stay on it. It won't be easy. People will mock you, leave you, scorn you. You will miss out on many opportunities that the world will call you crazy for leaving behind. You'll have to give up all your rights, advantages and preferences. You'll have to give up your love for everything ... EVERYTHING... except for God, and deal with whatever consequences may arise from that. And we'll need to do these things most when we feel least like it. And there are two things to remember. If we are doing these things for any hint of a selfish motive, or for any reason other than the love we have for Jesus, it will be made void. But if we do it with His help, for His sake and that of the Gospel, the fulfillment will be like no other.

Mark 10:28 - 31: "Peter began to say to Him, "Behold, we have left everything and followed You." Jesus said, "Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel's sake, but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last, first."

And that is our promise, from Jesus Himself. But notice, part of the promise is persecutions. Though the last will be first... in the Kingdom of God.

This is the life we chose. And must choose. Daily.

If you are anywhere near this place, as I am today, do this one thing for me. God asked me to do this one morning in a little village in Vanuatu and I hope to never forget it again... I asked Him what He had for me this morning, what He wanted from me... and He simply told me, "gaze into My eyes." I was a bit weirded out, but figured hey, why not. I closed my eyes, and pictured myself gazing into the eyes of God, as limited as my understanding of that would look like. I'm not too sure if I can describe my experience from this point on. All I know is that I experienced the slightest taste of God's love for me, and for the world, simply by allowing myself to gaze upon the shallowest surface of His. And it nearly brought me to tears. In fact I think one or two may have slipped out, but I can't be certain, and so I say nearly. In any case, I caught a glimpse of what is in store, a glimpse of what it means to love God with everything... and to see how He loves us... and what could drive people to this life of a disciple simply over the love of Jesus.

And so I ask you this. After you finish reading this (it's almost done, I promise), take a few minutes and find somewhere quiet. Ask that God would reveal Himself to you, close your eyes and picture yourself Gazing at God. Longingly. Lovingly. Into His eyes. Let His love cover you and seep into you. Then make a choice.

I don't know about you, but I choose to persevere. I want to develop a love for Jesus Christ so pure that I'm brought to tears in worship when I turn my eyes on Him. I want to dance with Jesus out of pure joy, to learn what it means to love others and myself with the love of God, and see the results... all to the glory of Jesus and the gospel. I want to myself become nothing... that I no longer live but Christ lives in me. This is the life I choose, and will choose, as it is a choice daily. It won't happen over night. It won't happen in a year. It will take your whole life to even begin to get anywhere near. But it will be so incredibly worth it, if for nothing else (and I believe there should be no other reason) than to simply love on Jesus and let the abundance of His love flow from you.

"God I choose to persevere. I choose to walk to narrow road. I choose life as it is meant to be. I don't know where the road is going, or where it will take me. I don't pretend to know how to stay on the road. All I know is that if I earnestly desire it, You will let me know in time exactly what it takes. And You will walk with me, hand in hand, the duration of the journey. And I don't care what it takes. I AM YOURS. In Jesus' Name."

Um Die.

Wellll it's been some time here apparently... sorry to you who check back regularly.

But to quote David Crowder (once again)... Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

God seems to like this theme these days in my life, and either it's a recurring theme in the life of any devoted disciple... or I'm just not getting it. (Or in my case, maybe a bit of both). Inspiration comes today largely from C.S. Lewis, and of course God. I just picked up a copy of C.S. Lewis' book "The Great Divorce" the other day. And proceeded to read it in 2 days (it was a pretty short book). But it definately brought new light to David Crowder's opening remarks on their new CD.

Everybody wants to go to heaven. But nobody wants to die.

The book, simply explained, is about a guy who has a dream. In that dream, he goes on a bit of a tour of Heaven and Hell. The view of heaven and hell put forth in the book is a very interesting one (one of my favorites so far :) ), though as Lewis says himself, "The second thing is this. I beg readers to remember that this is a fantasy. It has of course- or I intended it to have - a moral. But the transmortal conditions are solely an imaginative supposal: they are not even a guess or a speculation at what may actually await us. The last thing I wish is to arouse factual curiosity about the details of the after-world."

And rightly so. The point of this book was (is) much beyond arousing a curiosity of details... rather, to point out the incredible need of the complete divorce of the things of heaven, and the things of hell (and the earth can fit in nicely with hell).

The ultimate point he brings out time and again throughout the book is this, taken from the back of the book : "If we insist on keeping Hell (or even earth) we shall not see Heaven: if we accept Heaven we shall not be able to retain even the smallest and most intimate souvenirs of Hell."

Profound.

Yet... how often do we accept this reality? And that it what I wish to engage in today... why this is so and what are we to do about it?

Now for the sake of not just repeating the book, I'm going to tell you to go buy it and read it yourself, and steer on a bit of a different path, though I may come back to the book a little, as it's fresh in my mind and God used it to give me some revelation.

Now the dilemma is this. We (and by we in this instance I mean all who embrace Christianity to the slightest extent... from the most devoted Discliple of Christ to the guy who's pretty sure he's going to heaven because "there's gotta be a God out there, and hey, I lived a pretty good life")... We all seem to want the things God has to offer us (eternal life in heaven, peace, joy, etc. etc.), but we don't seem to realize fully what it takes to actually get them.

We say things in full seriousness like this... "I feel distant from God these days, I don't understand it. Oh, are you going to that huge party on friday night? I'm gonna get sooo hammered!"

We tell God we want to know Him, that we want to give our all to Him when we're on our knees in prayer. Then an hour later we are blatently disobeying Him to do something that is "Just a little harmless fun".

We let God know perfectly well that we want everything God has to offer us. But what we don't often realize is that at the exact same time we are letting God know perfectly well that we aren't willing to give up the things in the way of getting them. And the moment we make this choice, consciously or not, is the moment we tell God that we really don't want all the things He has to offer. We clearly let Him know that we'd rather have the fleshly pleasures that will decieve us and rip us apart in the end... then to have a perfectly clear path to God.

Now personally, I believe that a lot of our problems with this comes from things that we have been taught growing up, that are just simply a part of us that seems so natural. Know this: I am not saying this to shift blame from ourselves, but simply so we can address this issue and become free from it. These are just a few of the things that I have learned growing up that are off the top of my head.

Christianity is safe. Christianity causes pain and problems to vanish. Come to God with your problems, he can solve them; but if you can handle it yourself, you probably should. You can be a Christian and still do all the things you used to do. It's called 'reaching out'. Jesus didn't really MEAN all those things He said about how we're supposed to live... He was just... erm... well... we don't talk about that. Because Christianity is easy, and a nice addition to life. Yeah that problem you have? You don't really need to fully get rid of it, as long as it's not controlling you right now... it'll just be more pain than it's worth. Wait until it's worse, when you actually need to do something about it.

Well some of those may be familiar. Maybe some not. In any case, they're all a croc of crap.

Following Jesus, embracing the kingdom of heaven... Well simply put here's a summary from the best of my understanding.

First off, it means DEATH, to absolutely everything that is not fully in line with God. Ouch is right. it IS going to hurt. it ISN'T going to be comfortable, or safe as we would like safety to look (keep in mind God is watching out for you). you WON'T want to let go of things (even though you must... they are only hindering you). You must give up every single right you claim to have. Your life must be fully surrendered to God (It is no longer I that lives, but Christ that lives in me). No more building ourselves up.

This is the life we chose.

Granted, this won't all be instant. But it is our goal. And every time we make a choice that contradicts this (to be noticed, to cling to a right, to do something for ourselves, to hold on to something that is in the way, to want comfort instead of cleansing pain...) we take a step (or leap) away from that goal.

"But... but" you stammer..."Why would a God who loves us make us go through pain and suffering?" Well let's see what Jesus had to say about that.

Matthew 5:29 - 30: "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."

So... if I'm correct in my thinking, our striving for purity should be ridiculously sought after, to the point that if our eye causes us to sin we are to pluck it out and throw it away. Now I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure Jesus isn't just trying to pull a fast one on us. The whole rest of the sermon on the mount is pretty serious stuff, why shouldn't this be?

I'm pretty sure removing something like lust or selfishness or comfort or pride or laziness from your life, no matter how much it hurts, wouldn't hurt quite so much as cutting off your hand... or digging out your eyeball. Yet that's the extent Jesus calls us to for purity. Quite literally, killing whatever doesn't belong.

It is better to look maimed and broken to people around you and pure and whole to God, than it is to seem to have everything together and perfect for people to see... but be maimed and destroyed for God to see.

Oh, and we often don't have the power to kill things ourselves. But Jesus does. Ask honestly. Ask earnestly. Ask that Jesus would bring things to light in your life that are covered in darkness. From things you know about, to things you won't admit and even things you don't know about. Then ask Him to kill them. Nothing can be redeemed until it has died. including ourselves... Everything can be redeemed to serve God's purposes. But they must be killed and resurrected by Jesus Christ before that can happen.

As Oswald Chambers puts it, "If we have never been hurt by a statement of Jesus, it is questionable whether we have ever really heard Him speak. Jesus Christ has no tenderness whatever toward anything that is ultimately going to ruin a person for the service of God. If the Spirit of God brings to our minds a word of the Lord that hurts, we may be perfectly certain there is something He wants to hurt to death."

I'll end by summarizing a situation in "The Great Divorce."

The main character (the one having the dream) witnesses in heaven (heaven before it is "Heaven", interesting view... too much to explain, just read the book) an engagement of an angel and a soul (a "ghost" in heaven, there to visit and not to stay, they are transparent in the environment) struggling with this exact problem. In the book, the thing that needs to die is lust, represented by a lizard on the soul's shoulder. It starts with the soul walking away, back towards Hell. (or purgatory, at this point.) There is a little red lizard whispering in his ear. And a voice says "off so soon?" The soul says yes, that he enjoyed the visit but that the lizard was giving him trouble and wouldn't shut up. The soul says he realizes that the lizard isn't welcome here, so he had best be off.

The angel (the voice that spoke) offers to shut the lizard up. The soul says he would like that. The angel says "Then I will kill him." But that gets the soul all stirred up. What ensues is an arguement, with the angel continually insisting on killing the lizard, without letting up. pretty much all he says is "may i kill it? can i kill it now?" Quite humorus really, as the soul is just making up excuse after excuse of why it doesn't need to die, including that it will hurt him (the angel has flaming hands to rip it off with) and that it isn't causing him too much trouble at the moment, and that he is too tired at the moment. Humorous, until we realize that we do that every day, and it's quite serious.

The argument culminates to a final climax where the soul blurts out that he wishes the angel would have just killed the lizard without asking, as it would have been easier. The angel counters that he could not kill it against the soul's will, it's impossible. Then he asks once again for permission to kill it. The lizard whispers some things to the soul, one last chance to survive. This is how it ends, from the book...

"Have I your permission?" said the Angel to the Ghost.
"I know it will kill me."
"It won't. But supposing it did?"
"You're right. It would be better to be dead than to live with this creature."
"Then I may?"
"Damn and blast you! Go on, can't you? Get it over. Do what you like," bellowed the Ghost: but ended, whimpering, "God help me. God help me."
Next moment the Ghost gave a scream of agony such as I never heard on Earth. The Burning One [the angel] closed his crimson grip on the reptile: twisted it, while it bit and writhed, and then flung it, broken-backed, on the turf.

It hurt the ghost, but as you see if you read further, the ghost turns solid, like the rest of the permanent inhabitants of heaven. The lizard (lust), killed by the angel, begins to come back to life, turning into a great stallion, representing the pure emotion of desire, or lust redeemed. The now man who was a ghost mounts the Stallion and disappears toward the mountain of God, free from his bondage.

Everybody wants to go to Heaven. But nobody wants to die.

"God, plain and simple: You require purity. And You will make us pure. But we have to ask for it. I know it will hurt, but God it's worth it. Search me, speak to me and let me know what needs to die. The words will hurt, but You will tear out the impurity and replace it with redemption. Thank you, Jesus, that You are faithful and provide a way to purity. We cannot do it on our own, and though it will hurt we beg of You... Make us pure. In Jesus' name."